tabula rasa

My Favorite Christmas Shopping

2011-12-24T11:47:00.000-06:00

Some years Christmas just sneaks up on me, and given the fact that my life has been extremely busy and slightly off-kilter over the past month, this is one of those years. However, I am finally finding the time today to do what is always my favorite Christmas shopping: shopping for those in need around the globe.

I don't love the idea of normal Christmas shopping. In fact, I really don't understand it at all. We go out and buy presents for people who already have plenty when there are millions hurting around the world. During this season of "giving" we tend to focus inwardly (our own close circles) instead of the real idea of giving and blessing. So every Christmas, I do a little bit of my own shopping (in addition to having a couple of these items on my actual "Christmas List" for family. I head to the sites of the organizations I know and love and purchase gifts for people in need. Here are some of my favorite opportunities to bless others this Christmas:

1. Give the gift of cement

Huh? Did he really say cement? Yup. It is actually one of the most important parts of sanitation and restoration projects in Africa, and also one of the most expensive. Blood:water Mission is out to get 5,000 bags of cement for this Christmas to help build latrines, wells, biosand filters, and rain tanks. Check it out.

2. Give Fashion(able)

The Mocha Club is an organization I've partnered with for a long time. They do great work in Africa, and I fully recommend them to anyone looking to get involved. Thanks to their clothing branch, FashionABLE, you can give to the fashion conscious on your lists with a gift that will do far more than keep their neck warm by helping to create sustainable businesses for women in Africa.

3. Red Earth Trading Co.

This is the gift/clothing division of Global Support Mission, based right in Nashville, TN. I know the guys running this personally and can vouch for what they are doing. You can find gifts of home decor and jewelry that come straight from artisans in Africa, helping them build businesses that can support entire communities. You can even watch the videos to meet the specific people creating the work and learn their individual stories.

4. Give the gift of loans

Kiva.org is a great site, helping to partner with hundreds of thousands across the world to build businesses through micro loans. Even a loan as small as $25 can make a world of difference in helping to get a business off the ground. Not only that, but they have a 98.6% repayment rate, meaning they successful far more often than not. Give someone the gift of freedom through a loan this year.

There are plenty of other options, but I'll stick with those for now. If you want any other suggestions, just let me know and I'll be glad to point you in the right direction!

A Sad Loss

2011-10-05T23:29:00.004-05:00

Tonight I arrived back at my house to find that Steve Jobs passed away. I’m not normally one to take much pause for the deaths of celebrities, but Jobs is different. Without specifically ever acknowledging it, Steve Jobs has had a remarkable impact on my life. Many of my favorite movies, computers, programs, and devices are directly linked to him. His company has influenced the entire world of design and branding. His business model is revered world-wide. His products literally stop the world in it’s tracks when they are announced. I can’t imagine being a part of, or responsible for, something so dynamic and compelling. He literally changed the way we live.

It is hard to imagine Apple and Pixar moving on without him. He was not a distant leader and CEO, he was the public face and embodyment of the Apple brand. He was as intertwined into the success of Apple as the iPod. Steve Jobs is a household name, and not for infamy, like other computing giants (Mark Zuckerburg, Bill Gates, etc.), but because he is almost universally loved. He will go down as one of the most influential and compelling men in history. He changed the course of the entire world.

So how can we learn from Jobs? I recommend starting with listening to Jobs’ Commencement speech to Stanford grads in 2005. After that, I will certainly be buying his biography, which is ironically scheduled to be released next month, but until then, it’s time to look at some quotes of his that give some insight into his philosophy and may help us understand just why he was who he was.

“Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

-- Steve Jobs, at a Stanford University commencement ceremony in 2005.

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

“In most people’s vocabularies, design means veneer. It’s interior decorating. It’s the fabric of the curtains of the sofa. But to me, nothing could be further from the meaning of design. Design is the fundamental soul of a human-made creation that ends up expressing itself in successive outer layers of the product or service.”

"The reason that Apple is able to create products like iPad is because we always try to be at theintersection of technology and liberal arts, to be able to get the best of both."

It is shocking to see and read the literal world-wide impact his death is having. Tweets and stories are pouring in from all over the world and absolutely dominating the online content. His life has truly affected us all. He is being labeled our generation’s DaVinci, Edison, Disney, and more. Here is what people are saying about Steve Jobs through twitter and online:

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/reaction-steve-jobs-death/story?id=14678187&page=2

http://www.businessinsider.com/luminaries-respond-to-steve-jobs-death-2011-10#ixzz1ZxeLi1lT

Jobs’ influence live on for generations to come through the products he created. Perhaps the most telling aspect of Jobs’ impact is that most of the conversation currently happening around the world is somehow happening through a device that he created.

Wrecked and Inspired

2011-10-02T23:09:00.000-05:00

Today I heard the brief story of a girl from Brentwood who moved to Africa and adopted 13 children. This peaked my interest, and tonight I found her ministry and blog. Right now, I am wrecked and inspired.

Her blog shares stories that display a faith, character, maturity, grace, love, courage, and wisdom that I do not have. I have been passionate about the poor and marginalized for years, now, but I am so lacking in my commitment. Perhaps not all are called to move overseas, but all are called to serve. Here in America, we simply like to downplay this role and calling because it doesn't fit our comfortable lifestyle. We want to follow God without giving up any of our worldly desires, whether that be our morning Starbucks, movies, or going out to eat, anything that requires us to alter our lifestyle is not something we find appealing. Because serving means getting dirty. Serving means being around people who may not be like us. Serving means sacrifice. We don't like sacrifice.

If you beg to differ, I challenge you to take a long look in the mirror and be honest, brutally honest, about what you see. Where do you spend your money? How much of it do you give away and how much of it do you keep for yourself? Do you even tithe 10% to your church? What about beyond that? How much of your time is spent pouring into other people? How many spare bedrooms go unused in your home? What is your response when a homeless man, ragged and dirty in appearance, asks you for money?

The answers likely aren't pretty.

I have done so little. I have been living in the past acts of service recently, feeling that I "did my duty" and taking my "deserved" time away to recharge. Sure, this is necessary at times but it isn't supposed to last a year. I am by no means trying to advocate a works based faith, but I am certain that the fruits of a real relationship with our Father mean that our hearts will be broken for the things that break His. The Bible is very clear that God's heart breaks for the poor, the orphans, and the widows.

This person, Katie, shows me what it means to serve. Her words perfectly paint the picture of Christ's love and grace. Her actions show the adoring love of the Father, relentless in pursuit, perpetually serving and humbling Himself for us. These words specifically challenge me to rid myself of all that I am and rely only on Him.

Our family sits on the street corner down town sharing ice cream and laughter. My daughter bends low to offer a homeless man her popsicle and as he cries that no one cares about him she looks straight into his face. “We will be your family,” she asserts, and she means it. We kneel on the pavement and we pray and people stop to look but we hardly notice because we were made for this.

We bend.

I bend to sweep crumbs and I bend to wipe vomit and I bend to pick up little ones and wipe away tears. I bend over a big pot of stew and I bend to fold endless laundry and I bend over math books and spelling sentences and history quiz corrections. And at the end of these days I bend next to the bed and I ask only that I could bend more, bend lower.
Because I serve a Savior who came to be a servant. He lived bent low. And bent down here is where I see His face.

He lived, only to die.

Could I?

Die to self and just break open for love.

This Savior, His one purpose to spend Himself on behalf of messy us. Will I spend myself on behalf of those in front of me?

And people say, “Don’t you get tired?” and yes, I do. But I’m face to face with Jesus in the dirt, and the more I bend the harder and better and fuller this life gets. And sure, we are tired, but oh we are happy. Because bent down low is where we find fullness of Joy.

Read more of Katie's blog, The Journey.

Find out about Katie's ministry, Amazima.

Blogs & Backlash

2011-08-17T10:10:00.000-05:00

Why is it that we let the words of others, even in blog form, so acutely affect us? Don Miller recently wrote some words to men and women about living a great love story. I thought the efforts were brilliant on his part. They were honest, candid, and real. He did not gloss over any topics or try to sugar-coat anything. I didn’t agree with everything he said and there were a few grammatical errors as well as a couple lines that led me to believe his theology is a bit different than what I understand to be true, but overall I found them powerful and well-written.

After reading the posts, I began to scroll through the comments. Things appeared to be normal with the obligatory “you are awesome, I somewhat worship your words, you change my life” statements that are so frequent on the blogs of popular writers, but then it took a dramatic shift. Particularly in the article written for women, people began to lash out against Don’s use of the word “slut” as well as his theology. They did not simply express a differing opinion, but began to tear into Don and his character.

I was shocked.

Why are people offended? Why are they getting angry? Surely we can hear a contrary opinion to own own without becoming irate, right?

I thought so, but then I realized more of what is truly happening. People were mainly offended by Don’s theology or word choice. He was very blunt in his writing and used the words “slut” and “slutty” to describe women who sleep around frequently. But the true motive behind all of the anger and defensive rebukes is PRIDE.

No, his theology is not perfect. There are things in the post that I disagree with. But guess what? My theology isn't perfect either. And neither is yours. If you think it is, then you value your own interpretation of the truth more than you value the truth itself. This is where our pride starts to creep in and take control. God has not revealed all of Himself to us. We cannot possibly fully know or understand God, so it is time we stop acting like we can.

As for Don's word choice, if you are offended, then it is likely because of your pride fighting the guilt or shame associated with the words. The word "slut" is certainly a word that brings with it an overwhelming sense of emotion, especially for those with a sexual past. It is not slang. It, by definition, means a careless or promiscuous woman (really, you can look it up). Don used it perfectly. One commenter used that argument that Jesus never said “slut.” Well, I can’t argue the accuracy of that statement, but he also didn’t speak english and that word did not exist. Jesus did, however, use the word prostitute, so it seems that He wasn't afraid to speak honestly. I fail to see how it is not more offensive to call a promiscuous woman a slut than to call a person who gets paid for sex a prostitute. Offense is taken only when our PRIDE kicks in and we are faced with a reality that we don't want to admit. We lie to ourselves about our true nature and depravity, thus feel pain, guilt, and shame when confronted with that label. At that point, we can either humble ourselves and admit our brokenness, begging for grace and forgiveness, or we can stick to our pride and become defensive, arrogant, and angry. It should not be difficult to see which approach we are taking.

Don's message is not inerrant truth. He is not God. He is a man (prone to sin, just like the rest of us), trying to communicate a message he believes will help others. The same applies to many other blogs. If you don't agree with what someone says or what you read, that's fine, but there is not reason to be offended or hurt. Your security and significance are found in God and His Truth, not what any man or woman has to say. So next time you’re hurt or offended, check your motives. What’s really going on inside? Take a moment to pause before lashing out in self-preservation.

Relationships & The List

2011-08-01T13:59:00.000-05:00

It’s time to dive into a topic that has been on my mind a lot recently. No matter if you’re single, dating, or married, this is likely something that you have dealt with. It’s The List. That ever-so-innocent list of traits that you hope to find in a husband or wife. But is this list as innocent as we first perceive? Or is there something much deeper and potentially damaging lying under the surface?

Many of us are encouraged to make The List when we’re growing up. At some time in high school or college it’s almost guaranteed that a parent, youth pastor, or pastor will suggest it. Don Miller even recently wrote a blog on the very same topic. He did so just after getting engaged to his girlfriend (now fiancé) Paige and speaks of her list that she had written of the qualities she wanted in her husband. He openly encourages everyone to make such a list to avoid spending time with the wrong people and making mistakes that you and your future spouse will both grieve over.

Setting expectations for others is a
great way to make sure we experience
pain and disappointment.

From that perspective, I completely agree with him. It is so easy to be drawn to what the world says is good, compromise your standards, and end up in an unhealthy relationship. It happens to the vast majority of Christians. At some point, we all make mistakes, value the wrong things, and end up very hurt and very broken. Certainly that is not what God wants for us and having a list that keeps you grounded can help to avoid some of the unnecessary heartache.

However, we need to be careful. I, too, have made a list. I did it in college. At the time, I was very proud of this list. I began with the things I thought to be essential and then had some fun and included things that I thought would be great perks. I thought I knew what I wanted and what would be best for me and confidently held out for such a person. But there’s a problem with this entire strategy. Making a list of qualities YOU want in a spouse can only come from a very self-centered mindset.

I have been extremely fortunate to spend a lot of time with an amazing mentor over the past 9 months. He has incredible wisdom and insight and has helped to hold up a mirror to my life and expose me for what I am: selfish. That list that I made implied that I wanted to get certain things from a marriage. It meant that I wanted my future marriage to benefit me. It also meant that I already had established a set of standards and expectations for a person I had not yet met. That is not how healthy relationships work.

Healthy relationships are centered on God. Our entire sense of security and worth should be derived from Him and our very real, intimate walk with Him. To place any demands or expectations on a person we are dating or married to is unfair to that person and guarantees that we will both experience pain and disappointment. In order to avoid this, we need to clearly understand the difference between needs and wants as well as goals and desires.

Certainly there are things that should be essentials in a relationship, things we need. The Bible tells us to be equally yoked. We should not date or marry someone who does not share our core beliefs (note that I said core, this does not involve thing like petty denominational disagreements or arguments over which style of communion is best). Core beliefs are a need. A want is something that we would like to have, but is not a requirement. When we begin to clutter what should be the very short list of needs for a potential spouse with wants, we stop leaving room for God to move. The things that we want are not necessarily things that are good for us. Remember, God is our creator and knows what we need much more than we do. He knows who will help us grow and become who He wants us to be.

In the same way, a goal is something that we are able to make happen on our own. A goal will determine how we behave and should not be applied to anyone but ourselves. A desire is a legitimate yearning for something that we cannot make happen on our own. Only God can take care of desires. If only God can make our desires happen, it would follow that our only course of action toward our desires is prayer. These two very simple definitions have a profound impact on relationships. When we confuse our goals with our desires, everything gets messy. If I have a desire to grow deeper spiritually with a person I am dating, I need to make my goal something that I can control. I cannot make a girl have a deeper relationship with God, but I CAN take steps to give us the chance to have that happen. My goal could be for me to present an opportunity to pray together every day. I am able to control the outcome of this goal with nobody else’s help or assistance and this goal is then the only thing I can be responsible for. What about the rest of my desire? All I can do about that is pray that God would bring her closer to Him and that our relationship together would help us grow.

Now go back and look at Paige’s list. As you progress down it, you’ll notice that after the first goal many of them tend to be self-centered. In fact, 11 of the 15 goals use the word “me.” Only 4 of the goals are actually about the character of her future husband, the rest pertain to how she wants her husband to make her feel. This suggests a very deep desire to feel fulfillment, security, and love from a relationship. She is hoping to find in a husband what she is supposed to find in God. Instead of getting those things from God so she is at a place where she can serve her future husband, she is more focused on what he can do for her.

This is the danger of the list. When we approach relationships from a selfish mentality, we lose sight of the true goal of a relationship -- to serve and minister to the other person selflessly. Marriage requires that we put the other person’s needs ahead of our own. It is not about getting, but giving. Rather than focusing on who you want your spouse to be, flip the list around on yourself and focus on becoming the kind of person worth marrying. Learn to serve. Learn to love. Learn to give generously. Learn to be selfless. I fully support the creation of a list, but be careful that it only includes things that you know to be essential and leave room for God to amaze with with who He provides for the rest.

Much of my time with my mentor has been spent diving into a book called The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb. Before you make any judgments or say, “But I’m single, I don’t want to read a book about marriage,” please know that this book is just as much about any interaction you have with another person as it is about marriage (well, except the chapter about Body Oneness...). I highly recommend this book for anyone who would like to learn to view relationships from a more ministry-minded than manipulative mindset.

Another perspective on Don Miller's engagement/endorsement of The List

Parking Lot Gospel

2011-07-23T03:29:00.000-05:00

Tonight I was called stupid by a woman I don’t even know for giving money to a man who may use it for drugs. It was a whole $.75, but it was all of the cash I had.

Let me back up. As I exited Walmart and approached my car, a man walked up to me and asked if I could spare $5 so he could get a ride home. In the midst of his hurried speech, one of the first things I noticed was the shaking/twitching of his right hand. Stop for just a moment and imagine being homeless or destitute. Times are hard enough for you that you have no option left but to approach complete strangers and humble yourself before them by asking for their financial help. By asking for grace. By admitting that you can’t make it on your own.

Pause.

Think about that some more.

It’s difficult, isn’t it? None of us like to admit that we can’t make it on our own or that we don’t have everything under control. We hate admitting that to our closest friend or even God (who, by the way, already knows) let alone complete strangers. Now imagine that after you’ve stooped so low and gotten rid of all of your pride, when you finally gather the courage to approach someone, they write you off before you can even explain yourself.

“No thanks.”
“I don’t have any cash on me.”
“I can’t spare anything.”

The first answer shows that the person hasn’t even listened to a word you’ve said. You weren’t offering them a service or product. You were trying to ask for help. But before you could even state your purpose, they said, “No, thanks.” That’s why so many people who’ve been on the street for ay length of time speak quickly, taking advantage of any silent moment to try and plead their case.

The others? They are nothing more than lies. Not always (I usually don’t carry cash on me), but the vast majority of the time. And even if the person doesn’t have any physical money on them, what they are really saying is, “I don’t care enough to take any time to help you.” Or maybe, “I deserve my ‘hard-earned’ money more than you.”

Back to the story.

The man explained to me that he needed to get money for a ride home. I asked him where his vehicle was, and he said it was just up the hill, but it isn’t his car. Someone has offered to give him a ride back to his house if only he could get $7 cash to cover the gas. This left me at an interesting place. I had no cash on me and when I offered to buy the gas for him with my credit card he said since it wasn’t his car it wouldn’t work. I had to sadly inform him that since I didn’t have any cash and he wouldn’t accept anything else it didn’t like I would be able to help him. Upon hearing this he quickly walked away.

After getting in my car, I began to search to see if perhaps I had any cash randomly hiding someone. Having just cleaned my car out, this wasn’t likely, but I saw $.75 laying in the change holder. Apparently he saw me looking and, walked back over to my car, asking me even just for a little change. Anything I had would do.

It was at this point that things got a little strange. A woman approached and told him he needed to leave the parking lot. I looked back to see a Walmart employee standing there and repeating the words, “You need to leave.” As I struggled to get all of the change out to give to him, another woman in a van slowed in an adjacent aisle. He continued to assure the employee that he was on his way while I fumbled with the measly three quarters, and when I handed him the money he quickly departed.

It was then that I noticed the woman in the van. She had stopped her vehicle to witness the scene taking place. Her scowl and glaring eyes gave away her disposition, and as she stared straight at me, she yelled through her open window that the man I was just talking to is at the parking lot every night asking for money for drugs. She then asked if I had given him money.

I replied, “I did.”

Still yelling, she responded, “You didn’t or you did?”

“I did.”

Upon hearing the confirmation, she began rolling up her window and loudly muttering, “Stupid! So stupid! I can’t believe...” And then she was gone.

It’s moments like these where I have such a hard time loving people. Not just people, but entitled people. People who think they are better than others. I found myself dumbfounded that I was just berated for giving away money. I didn’t know how he would spend it, and I didn’t consider it my responsibility to find out before giving.

There are two things that kill me in these scenarios. First, that many people think they are better than others. That because someone is homeless they shouldn’t be allowed to enjoy the same things in life as others. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating drug use, but people do all sorts of things to feel good. Manicures, spas, movies, vacations, coffee, and alcohol. All of these things cost us money, but we think that to allow a homeless person the chance to enjoy a beer is unacceptable.

“Well, they won’t just enjoy one beer. They’ll probably just go get drunk.”

Sure. There’s a good chance they will. But so will you. As I sit on my back deck right now, it’s Friday night. Downtown Nashville and every other city is likely alive and well thanks to alcohol sales. The drunk crowds are stumbling all over from bar to bar, “having a good time.” Yet they won’t give money to a homeless person so he or she can do the same. What does that say about us? It says we honestly think that we are more deserving of it. Or that we have earned the right to do so by making money. Or that we simply don’t care. Take your pick, none of the options are pretty.

The second point of interest is that the man was kicked out of the parking lot. This wasn’t a fancy establishment. This was Walmart. But it doesn’t matter, the same principles apply. We have developed a culture where we have decided that those with wealth should be able to spend their money freely and without any sense of guilt or shame. We don’t want to be bothered by someone asking for assistance when they are trying to have a good time. We don’t want to be reminded of the vast brokenness that exists outside of our perfect bubbles. If we had to stare at the face of poverty, we might not feel so good about ourselves. If we had to look at the dirty face of the man in front of us, we might not be able to continue to live our comfortable lifestyles.

So we lie.

Because it’s easier. Telling the truth requires for us to know the truth, and to know the truth means that we have to be honest with ourselves. But most of us choose to ignore what is truly going on under our skin.

Truth is the one thing I wish so desperately these people heard more of. Given the run-around by most people they encounter, a homeless person is left to believe that nobody cares about them. That they have been abandoned, left for dead, and are shunned from society. I wished so badly that I would have taken more time with the man tonight. I wished I would have found out his name. I wished I would have taken him to the McDonald’s across the street to hear his story. To show that someone cares about him. And to speak Truth.

To let him know that though everyone around him may reject and ignore him, the God of the universe rejoices over him. That no matter what he’s done, God is anxiously waiting and yearning for the day that this man would come back to him. That God loves him just as much as every person who ignores him on the street. That they are no better than him in God’s sight. God loves him every bit as much as me and you, and this man is every bit as deserving of the riches that life has to offer.

God loves the homeless, the drug addicts, and the broken people around us every bit as much as us, and when we are honest with ourselves, we’ll see that we are every bit as broken as them and more. He has blessed us so that we may bless others, so what are you going to do about it?

Intentionality & Vulnerability in Relationships

2011-06-06T09:34:00.000-05:00

When I moved to Nashville, I left a group of committed friends, a solid church, a location I loved, and a place where many people stay for extended periods of time. I transitioned to an area where many people are simply passing through. Nashville is an interesting community where people are heavily involved in music, which means they are often on the road or they only spend so long here before heading somewhere else. It is difficult to build relationships when people are gone so often. Combine that with the simple fact that most twenty-somethings are rather non-committal and have a tendency to be flaky, and what you have is a perfect recipe for superficial relationships.

It's easy here. Nashville is built on networking and maintaining as many relationships as possible, because everyone needs something. You meet people frequently at mixers, shows or church. I go to a larger, younger church, so it is filled with people my age and in my stage of life. Nashville is not a large city, so I see familiar faces everywhere I go. It doesn't take too much to feel like you know a lot of people here. The problem is that with this setup it's also very easy to not really know anyone.

I long for deep, genuine, and honest relationships. I want to know and support the people in my life; to know their struggles, hurts, and fears. I also want them to do the same for me (I am slowly coming to grips with the fact that I am not as independent as I thought). But I've found that developing this type of friendship requires a great deal of intentionality, and finding people who want to commit to that type of relationship is very difficult.

In the past, I haven't been great with this. I grew up in a home where affirmation was scarce, and I had no idea of how to respond to affirmation, let alone how to give it. I still freeze momentarily when it happens. As a result, my efforts toward intentionality in relationships often meant that instead of giving affirmation I gave my time. For me, time is a huge deal, because I have so little of it. At any given moment, I have a myriad of things I could be doing, such as reading, practicing, working on my business, etc. The list of tasks to do that sits undone seems never-ending. But not everyone interprets me choosing to spend my time with them as me showing how much I care about and value them. My lack of verbal affirmation of leaves people wondering where they stand with me. I am trying very hard to be better about this.

As I continue to pursue genuine, intimate relationships, I am learning a lot. Genuine relationships require honesty, dedication, and vulnerability. No matter how independent you think you are, if you are honest and vulnerable, you'll admit that you want to be wanted, just like everyone else. It feels good to have others show up and support what you are doing. If you want to be vulnerable, you have to admit that others can hurt you. You are not an island. And the hardest part is admitting TO that person when they do hurt you. It feels like weakness. It feels needy. It feels like you are asking too much. But you simply cannot have a deep relationship with someone if you always keep up the walls that don't allow anyone to truly touch and hurt you.

What I have been experiencing lately is a real sense of let down. Let down is the strong, independent-type euphemism for hurt. For pain. Pain inflicted upon me by someone else. Pain that occurred because I want to have real, open, true relationships here, and when I open myself up to them and find that it seems to be a one way street, it hurts. And my initial reaction only makes it worse. When I find that someone doesn't put the same time or effort into the friendship as me, I tend to back away. I decide that they must not be as committed, so I'll look to other friends. Instead of facing the pain and making the difficult decision to talk to the person, I avoid it. What I need to do instead is sit down with that person and admit to them that they have hurt me. It seems so wrong in my head. "I shouldn't be bothered by this." "It's not that big of a deal, I'm over-reacting." But I'm not. I'm hurt, and the only way to have the real relationship that I long for is to admit that I am hurt. We grow deeper as we realize the pain we cause each other and strive to grow closer and serve one another better.

So what I am now striving for is to be more intentional. It's easy to get caught up in the rush of life and forget to make sure someone knows you care. I do it all the time, and I find that the more I care about someone, the more likely I am to hurt them with my lack of intentionality. What I need to do is to say the words that don't come easily. To pass along encouragement to the people I love. To make sure to call every now and then to make sure they know I am thinking about them. And to have the difficult conversations and admit the things that I don't want to say, including "I'm hurt."

How Should We Give?

2011-06-02T12:16:00.001-05:00

God has broken my heart for the physically, financially needy. I cannot walk past a homeless person on the street without experiencing a deep pain and sadness in my heart. I know that many people can simply say, "No, thanks" or "I'm not interested" as they brush off the person before he or she even had time to ask for anything, but I cannot do the same. I know that I struggle mightily to love others and see them as God does in many circumstances, but when it comes to the poor and marginalized, for some reason I have a deep sense of compassion.

I am also what you call an instigator. I love spurring other people to action. If I fully believe in something and am passionate about it, I recruit others. It doesn't matter if it is a type of computer, music, toothbrush, or ice cream scoop, if I believe in it, you'll probably know. When it comes to people less fortunate than me, I want to instigate change and open people's eyes to the needs around them, to somehow show that these people, the "least of these," are God's creation as well, and loved every bit as much as us, no matter what they struggle with or have done. This leads to a very interesting dilemma.

How can I effectively recruit people? I tend to lead by action and try to call others to join me in my pursuits. With supporting people in need, this gets tricky. I don't normally like to give publically, but the current age of social media has made it so much easier to start campaigns and raise money online. Also, if I only call people to give but they don't know that I am giving as well, will they actually follow through? Is it more effective if people first see my sacrifice? It seems like this is often the case, but then what am I supposed to do when I read this?

"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." -Jesus, from Matthew 6:1-4

No Great Day for America

2011-05-02T23:34:00.000-05:00

The news broke last night. Announcements of an upcoming important press conference had everyone speculating. President Obama would be speaking, but about what?

We were then informed that Osama bin Laden had been killed. An intelligence tip led the US military to a compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, where an ensuing brief firefight found bin Laden dead, having been shot in the head. The US supposedly took possession of his body and later buried him at sea.

In the aftermath of Obama’s announcement, people all across the country began to gather and celebrate. American flags waved as cheers and chants of “U-S-A! U-S-A! ...” rang out over the sound of people reciting the pledge of allegiance and singing the Star-Spangled Banner. Videos from Ground Zero and the White House flooded the social networks and the news. Certainly this country was jubilant and proud that one of the top missions for the past decade had finally been completed.

And this is when my heart sank.

The more I've read and seen, the worse I've felt. Go to any article online about bin Laden's death and you'll find comments similar to these (taken from the comment section below a CNN.com article, spelling and grammatical errors kept in tact):

Hard to face Mec ca when you're spinning around on the ocean floor! Beautiful!

I WOULD LIKE TO SEE A VIDEO OF HIS DEATH AND VIDEO OF HIM BIENG CUT INTO PIECES AND THROWN TO THE SHARKS PLEASE

FInally, to the one man who just devastated the image of Muslims and Arabs to the world, go burn in hell you murderer!

God Bless America!!

Well the stock exchange is doing better for the killing of that piece of crap I guess we should be asking the stock exchange who we should kill next to make the market better!

I lost 2 of my best friends over in Afghanistan because of Osama bin Laden and I'm glad he's dead just like the rest of Al-Qaeda will be very soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should have poured some pig blood on it, then shipped it back to New York so it could be slapped in the face with shoes and spit upon.

about time we got that monster,and yet i'm kinda jealious at the same time.i wished in a way it was me that pulled that trigger that rid the world of him

I hope the Sharks have a feast dear friends of ours lost their beautiful Daughter in 9/11 I do not hate people but this one Justice was served.

America Rules! Osama didn't stand a chance. Get Some MARINES!!!

Thank you CNN. "Breaking News" says USA has the DEAD body of 0sama Bin Laden. Bring out the champagne. Party time! Rot in hell Osama. Hahahah

Watch the Mets-Phillies game on ESPN. The whole crowd is chanting "USA! USA! USA!"

finally someone killed this murderer.

rot in Hell you Monster

Now let's bury him with a pig!!

USA.,we are the best !!!!!!!!!! Yeah

I hope it was a long, drawn out and painful death.

AMERICANS! DANCE IN THE STREETS THE WAY THEY DID ON 9/11!!!

I will not debate that Osama bin Laden was a terrible man, and one responsible for the loss of many innocent lives, but the response that has been seen in America, as shown in the above comments, is disheartening on many of levels. Here are a couple of the larger issues I see emerging.

There Is No Pleasure In Death

First is the jubilant celebration that is happening over his death. I will certainly rejoice that many lives were likely saved. The protection of life is something worth pursuing and I only see it appropriate to take a life in dire circumstance. A time when it is appropriate would be when a person takes the lives of innocent people, refuses to change, and violently resists arrest or incarceration. In this situation we are forced to take desperate measures and perhaps kill, but such a task should be approached with a remorseful, somber, and humble heart. It should never bring joy.

Ezekiel, a prophet, tells us the story of the Word of the Lord coming to him. In this message, God tells of the imminent destruction coming to Israel, but says repeatedly that He takes "no pleasure in the death of the wicked" or anyone else (Ezekiel 18:23, 18:32, and 33:11). For followers of Christ, our goal is to align our hearts with God’s heart. If His heart takes no joy and finds no pleasure in the death of the wicked, why should we be any different?

True Biblical Perspective

Many people are celebrating that "justice" or, even worse, "God's justice" has been served. I find this to be an extreme distortion of what the Bible proclaims. First of all, it is a bold and dangerous claim to say that the actions of the US Army exact the justice of God. If you truly believe this, there are some far deeper theological issues that we need to address. Second, the Bible, specifically the New Testament is filled with a message of redemption and restoration. Not for some, not for the almost pure, not for those who haven't screwed up too much, but for EVERYONE. God's love and grace has no limits. It applies the same way to Osama bin Laden as it does to me and to you.

Undoubtedly, people will point to the Israelites and the Old Testament for an example of “God’s justice” and to passages where God is on Israel's side as they are engaged in wars with other nations. The problem here is that circumstances were drastically different. God was specifically directing an entire nation and leading them through purposefully placed leaders and prophets. He hasn't been in the habit of operating in that manner since Jesus died to offer salvation for everyone, not just a specific people group. This means we need to look more to Jesus than to a nation that repeatedly failed and was brought into captivity by God as a result for a moral example of how to live our lives.

Christ, fully man and fully God, came to earth specifically to set the record straight. He came to offer the infinite grace and love of God to everyone. Not just to the healthy, but to the sick. To those with terrible pasts, to those who think they are unlovable, and to you and me. Jesus faced many situations in which people could have been condemned according to the old law, but not once does He do it. He never condemns. Instead, he loves us, offers second chances, and reminds us that we are not perfect either.

Paul writes in Romans that the wages of sin is death, that all have sinned, and that all sins are equal. We say it all the time, but do we actually embrace the reality of it? It means that passing judgment, failing to do the good you ought to do, hoarding material possessions, gossiping, slander, sexual immorality, lust, pornography, etc. are on the same plane as murder and hatred. That means that our continual battles with these things that we think petty make us no better than bin Laden. God has placed an obvious price tag on our sins, a tag that we can't pay. But Christ came down and bought us with His own blood. For everyone. God loves Osama bin Laden every bit as much as you and me. Difficult to swallow? Perhaps. True? Absolutely. And the same thing that is tough to swallow is the very thing that should be a great source of hope.

America the Self-Absorbed

The last problem on display in the aftermath of bin Laden’s death is the extreme pride, ignorance, and arrogance shown by the American people. We tend to see ourselves and our country as the proverbial “golden child.” We think we are incapable of doing anything wrong, let alone being on the same level as someone like bin Laden. But what if we really step back and see ourselves from an unbiased perspective?

I have been fortunate to travel outside of America’s borders and learned a lot as a result. One of those things is that the rest of the world seems to have a better idea of what America is doing than its own citizens do. They keep up with our foreign policy, where we have troops stationed, what laws our government is passing, and who the people are in power. We can’t even point to their country is on a map (this is not an exaggeration - before going to New Zealand, most people I talked to had absolutely no idea where it was). As a result, we have no idea just how much the rest of the world is frustrated with out foreign policy, no idea that we aren’t well-received everywhere around the globe. Worse yet, when we’re informed of that, what is our response? “Well, we’re the greatest country in the world, so f*** them.” Awesome.

It is precisely this attitude that has made so much of the world upset. We take what we want from who we want when we want it, and we ask nobody for permission. Have we even for a second considered that there may have been a reason for the 9/11 attacks? That at some point, perhaps we did something to enrage an entire people group? Perhaps we had, dare I say it, ourselves to blame? We keep a military presence is too many countries to keep track of, leave behind a trail of destruction, and have the blood of countless thousands on our hands. All the while, we complain about gas prices and our greed allows millions to die every year while we drive nice cars and by expensive houses. We don’t give a second thought to those dying of hunger and preventable illnesses as we spend $25 on a meal, but when 3,000 working, middle to upper class Americans die and we are outraged. For just a moment, step back and imagine what this must look like to the rest of the world. No, those people didn't deserve to die, but they also weren't any more valuable than every other life that we take or simply allow to die and goes unnoticed. America, put down your pride. It needs to die. There is an entire world out there that would be better off if we would.

Finally, the joy expressed at bin Laden’s death shows once and for all that we are no better than him. We are caught red-handed, practicing the same carelessness with life about which we were supposedly righteously angry. I understand that he needed to be stopped. I understand that since he refused and resisted being taken into custody, there was no other option than to use force. But such actions should be taken with a remorseful, somber, and humble attitude. The task of ending a life should never be a point of pride or joy; never lead to saying, “Look what we did!” And yet that is what we do, unknowing pointing to a mess that we have created that does not end with bin Laden’s death. We hope to find “justice” or peace in it, but the only thing strong enough to overcome evil and bring peace is love. There was only one death that could ever bring peace, and it is celebrated every Easter. Until we learn these truths and begin to choose love and forgiveness over vengeance, over violence, and over pride, we will continue to pay the price for our sins. For those following after God’s heart, today was a not a day of celebration, but of weeping.

Your Logo: Why it matters & why you should pay for it

2011-04-15T14:11:00.008-05:00

I have encountered too many situations recently in which people have completely undervalued their logo or visual brand. It happens all the time. I'll talk with potential clients about a logo design, and everything is on track until we talk about price. I have some amazing friends who are doing great things, but they don't understand the value of their logo. They approach me for advice or an estimate, and then go elsewhere to get it done at a cheaper price. As a friend and a designer, those situations kill me. I'm fine if they choose to have someone else design their logo, that's not a big deal. I simply don't want to see them make decisions that are detrimental to their business or organization. Given all of that, I thought I would take a moment to try and explain why a logo is important, and unless you know someone who owes you a BIG favor, why you should pay for it.

Why Your Logo is Important
It is true, your business or organization is much more than just a logo, and the quality of your product or service heavily affects how people will view your business, but your logo becomes the visual face of your company. It goes where personal interaction cannot, and precedes you into many interactions. It is what potential customers and clients see when they are passing by in a car, looking at an ad, or when they are handed a business card. The logo becomes a strong symbol for who you are. It stays with people and creates an impression when you aren't given the opportunity to do so in a personal manner.

Your Logo and Your Brand
The word "brand" often confuses people, hence the myriad of published books on the subject. The simple definition is that your brand is everything you do. It is the overall perception of your company and every interaction you have. It is how your customers or clients are treated, how your company runs its warehouse, the visual representation, and how you speak on the phone. Your logo cannot establish an entire brand on its own, but it surely is deeply integrated into your brand and affects how people view you. Your logo's strength cannot make up for poor interactions, but the reverse is also true. No matter how strong the rest of your brand is, a poor visual representation of your company will have a significant impact on your business.

The Process of Developing a Strong Logo
I first want to clarify a common misconception. Logos are not well-created in an hour or two. Many businesses hope to have a logo created in a matter of hours and want to pay accordingly, but this strategy will lead to poor results.

Because your logo has a great importance and significance both to you and your customer, it is important that proper attention be give to it. As mentioned, it is possible to create a logo in a brief amount of time, but that logo will fall short of its intended purpose. Your logo needs to represent your company and accurately communicate who you are and what you do. It also needs to identify with your target market and form a connections with those who utilize your product or service. Making sure that these things happen take time and research in market trends, target audiences, colors, typefaces, and so much more. Here is an idea of what a good logo development process looks like:

Research - It all begins with research. I want to know everything about your company, who your clients are, why they choose you, where they come from, and how you can better relate to them. Once I understand who you are and who your market is, I look into market trends, what the competition is doing, and how I can give you an edge before I ever start designing.

Brainstorm - I spend time conceptualizing, looking for ideas, and analyzing all of the angles of a project, hopefully coming up with brilliant ideas and throwing out the bad ones before I ever begin sketching.

Sketch - I get out the trusty sketchbook and hash out my ideas. This lets me know what I want to puruse further before i put hours in behind a computer, meaning I save you time and money.

Digitize - When I have all of the ideas I want to run with, I put them on the screen to see how they hold up.

Present - After I have a couple of versions I like, I show them to you and get feedback. Since this is your logo, I want to work hand in hand with you along the way.

Refine - Given your suggestions and comments, I edit and refine the logo, though as the hired professional I will occasionally push back on your suggestions, and work toward a finished product. I continue to tweak, develop, and present, working side by side with you until we have a...

Successful Solution - Your finalized logo should be something you are proud of that also identifies well with your customers and brings in more business. The process of getting here is not always easy, but it produces great results and hasn't failed me yet.

Why (and what) You Should Pay for Your Logo
As you can see, a logo is a delicate item that serves a great deal of needs and must be well-created in order to effectively do its job. The process of developing a logo is usually not a simple task. In terms of pricing, think about it this way. A well-designed logo, even if for a small company should take at least 10-15 hours. I personally would love to be able to allot much more, but that is rarely the case. If you are paying a freelancer to do the work, consider that the freelancer has to pay all of his own taxes, provide his own healthcare and insurance, pay for rent if he has office space, and more. Not only that, but much of his time must be spent taking care of accounting or bookkeeping, managing projects, marketing himself, etc. That means that he can't simply charge a rate of $20/hr and survive. Even if he were booked 40 hours per week at that rate, that's only $40,000/yr, likely significantly less than what the person asking for the logo makes, and that's before the aforementioned expenses. Sadly, $200 ($20/hr for 10 hours) is right around what most people would like to pay for a logo, and suggests that they don't feel that designers deserve to make a liveable wage. A more realistic freelance rate, keeping in mind that you're also paying for the availability to get your projects done in the near future, is around $50-60/hr. That means that a 10 hour logo, which is a fairly simple logo, should be a minimum of $500, but in all honesty closer to $750 or $1000.

Many people think that price range is high, but before you write this off, consider all that your logo does. You will have it for years if it is done well, and it will bring in plenty of business and opportunities for you. You will more than make back that investment in a short amount of time. So my final charge to you is this. If you are a small business owner, a non-profit organizer, or anyone thinking about starting a company, make room in your budget for a logo and other design needs. It is worth waiting and doing right. Designers, stop underselling your product. We all need to eat, and as long as people are willing to design for free or under sustainable levels, we all continue to suffer.

Passion and Involvement

2011-03-12T09:17:00.001-06:00

Passionate. I use this word to describe myself quite frequently. I am usually very involved in the things that I choose to do, think more with a black and white mentality, and don't often find myself in the middle ground. My life is filled with desires to pursue far more things than will ever be possible. Things like drumming/music, art, design, photography, large bodies of water, adventure, worship, sports/activity, traveling, and more. I have simply have never struggled with a lack of passions.

If you had asked, I also would have told you that I am very passionate about helping those less fortunate than me. God broke my heart for the under-privileged, marginalized, and oppressed in 2003 and since then I have tried to live in a very others-focused and world-minded manner. Despite being extremely poor for many of these years, I have made sure to constantly prioritize giving and have been in situations where I have no money to spend on myself, but money budgeted to give away to others. Last year I spent quite a bit of time at Tent City here in Nashville before it was washed away by the flood and have had anywhere from 3 to 5 homeless people living in my house (thanks to gracious and selfless roommates), some for up to 4 months. The last of that group left in September of last year and I decided to take what I thought to be a needed break for a moment. Though on a break, I would have definitely told you that I was still passionate.

Since then, however, I've noticed that the longer I go without being involved in the homeless community, the less passionate I became. I would still list it as something I believed in, even one of my priorities, but looking back I can't say that it was true. You see, passion and involvement go hand in hand. I can say that I'm passionate until I turn blue, but unless I am acting on it, that passion isn't going to be believed. Furthermore, those passions will fade over time if we aren't involved. Involvement leads to continued education and continued excitement. It helps to keep the flame burning.

What are the things you are passionate about? Are you actively involved or are you speaking empty words? If you're not involved, what is holding you back? Don't let excuses suppress your passions or your potential any longer. Take steps today. Go and get involved.

40 Days of Water

2011-03-09T10:10:00.000-06:00

Lent has officially begun, and most people likely choose not to participate in any
Lenten fasting or simply have not yet thought about what they'll be giving up. For anyone in either of those places, I'd like to invite you to join me in a fast that will have an impact far beyond the 40 days of Lent.

I've participated in this before and will likely do so every year in the future. I can't see any reason not to. The fast is through blood:water mission and is titled 40 Days of Water. The concept is simple. There are millions of people in the world who lack access to clean drinking water. In an effort to help them get access to the life source they desperately need, this Lent try drinking ONLY tap water. Every time you find that you are choosing water over a beverage you normally would have purchased, keep track. Write down the number of drinks and the amount you saved. You can keep track online through the 40 Days website and even on your smartphone. The rate at which this adds up will be shocking. At the end of Lent, donate the total that you saved to blood:water and help impact lives of people in need.

In America we have a myriad of beverage options before us every day and can so easily take for granted something like clean drinking water. But others don't. They have only one supply of water and that supply is contaminated. It makes them sick, and they know it, but they have to drink something. Maybe they can get clean water, but it's miles away, so every morning wives and children walk to carry back the limited water they'll use that day. That time they spend means they can't be in school, can't be preparing meals, and can't be working. Not only does your contribution give clean water, but it may provide a way out of the vicious cycle that has kept these people helpless to change their situation. For a staggering look at some numbers and facts, check this out.

Now I know that many of you are saying, "I can't live without my morning Starbucks," or "I need to have the caffeine from sodas throughout the day to keep me going." Maybe you just don't like water. No mater what the reason, I'd like to challenge you to give up your lifestyle for 40 days for the lives of others. Literally. Sure, you may be addicted to caffeine and you don't want to experience the withdrawal. Or perhaps at the end of a work day you really like to unwind with a beer or glass of wine. I understand your concerns, but are those things really worth depriving others of life? With over 3.5 million people dying from water-related disease every year (that's 9,800 every day), can you stand by that choice? Are you willing to say that your comfortable lifestyle is more important than another person's life?

Your 40 days could mean a lifetime for others. I hope you'll join me in making this Lent a season of hope for others.

The Importance of Truth

2011-03-04T12:02:00.001-06:00

O, the depths of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgements, and His ways past finding out!

-A.W. Tozer

Rob Bell has just ignited the fuse of the orthodox church and it is ready to explode. Why? Because they see someone jeopardizing the sanctity of what they believe. I fully believe that it is important to defend what we believe, and even something we're commanded to do. Paul spends much of Galatians, the second book written in the New Testament, defending the Gospel message that he was given. He adamantly makes his case to those people he was recently ministering to, not withholding his anger in his letter.

"I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel -- which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!"
-Galatians 1:6-9

This passage reminds me a lot of the situation at hand. Those who are more traditionally rooted feel that the gospel they know to be true is being threatened by another man's teaching. Hopefully the real fear is that others will be led astray, but it's also likely that there is a great deal of pride on the line. There is likely a battle to control what is thought of as truth. This same type of situation has been shown throughout history, whether with questions of science (think Copernicus, Kepler, Galileo, etc), government policy, or religious doctrine. It is the same thing Jesus encountered with the Pharisees. People are resistant to change and don't want to be told that their beliefs are wrong, they don't want to have their world turned completely upside-down. But in this there is the tension of truth, discerning what is right or wrong. Certainly both sides in each scenario believe they are right, so how do you tell the difference? All of this begs the question, what exactly is truth? Or better yet, what exactly is Truth?

I fully believe in Truth. I believe that this Truth is rooted in God, and since God is immutable (unchanging), I believe that these truths do not change. The problem we, as humans, encounter is the ability to know these truths. If absolute Truth is rooted in God, we must know God in order to know Truth. I've read and am currently re-reading A.W. Tozer's The Knowledge of the Holy. If you haven't read it, do it. It's worth your time. Tozer focuses on what we can know to be true of God, attribute by attribute, and the section that recently has been on my mind is that of God's Infinitude.

Tozer profoundly explains what it means for God to be infinite. "Of all that can be thought of or said about God, His infinitude is the most difficult to grasp. Even to try to conceive of it would appear to be self-contradictory, for such conceptualization requires us to undertake something which we know at the outset we can never accomplish." The basic premise of this line of thought is that God created us. He created our bodies, this earth, and our minds. As a result, we can never possibly understand Him. He exists in a realm that is beyond anything we can comprehend, so to try is futile. He expounds further by quoting Novatian, who says, "At the contemplation and utterance of His majesty all eloquence is rightly dumb, all mental effort is feeble. For God is greater than mind itself. His greatness cannot be conceived." "All our thoughts about Him will be less than He, and our loftiest utterances will be trivialiteis in comparison with Him." What we know of Truth must come from what we know of God, and what we know of God must come from what He has chosen to reveal to us and nothing more. If our truth comes from anywhere else, we make ourselves vulnerable to deception.

This is paramount when examining Truth. The real problem here, as Tozer eloquently explained and Don Miller touched on in a recent blog post, is that Truth is beyond our grasp. We cannot know it, yet need to form opinions and lay down a foundation of sorts in order to function on a daily basis. The Truth is, indeed, immutable, but our perception of the truth is open to change. Look throughout history, and you will see a myriad of worldviews that have since been turned upside down. It was previously accepted as truth that the sun and moon were gods, that the earth was at the center of the universe, that the earth was flat, and so much more. We now know that these things are not true. The Truth has been the same throughout, but the perception has changed. As this happens, it requires a paradigm shift. A paradigm shift, as Thomas Kuhn describes it in his The Structure of Scientific Revolution, occurs when people encounter anomalies which cannot be explained by the accepted paradigm.

So what do we do when we encounter these anomalies? Traditionally the response is a great deal of backlash and possibly persecution for those questioning the anomaly. This is what we see happening with Rob Bell right now. Given that we cannot know Truth beyond what God has revealed to us, I find it essential for us to at least respect and explore these anomalies. Any response other than this is to let our pride take over, believing that we hold the Truth and nobody can tell us otherwise. But we do not hold the Truth. Only God holds the Truth. Miller said it well when he said, "When theologians throw out anomalies that threaten their paradigms, they respect their interpretation of truth more than truth, or worse, believe their interpretation of truth is actually truth. They use terms like Biblical and heretic to convince themselves and others that their interpretation is the real truth and others are a threat to “the gospel” or to God Himself. This sort of language isn’t helpful or respectful of anomalies, not to mention it’s behavior indicates a genuine intellectual threat that should be taken seriously, not dismissed as heresy."

We cannot fool ourselves into thinking that we have finally discovered the Truth in any form, let alone on issues of God and His judgment. His ways are beyond our ways, and He has only chosen to reveal certain aspects of His being to us. So when we are presented with anomalies from our current beliefs, we need to compare them to the only thing that we know to be true and not be afraid to admit that we don't, and perhaps can't, know. What is the Truth about Universalism? Will all people end up in Heaven? How do you become one of the few if only a few get to heaven? I don't know all of the specifics, but I know that Rob Bell is right about one thing. God is love and love will indeed win, because God has told us so. When I find what I think to be contradictions in the Bible or in what God says or how He behaves, the problem does not lie in God's actions, but in my ability to comprehend them.

The God of Abraham has withdrawn His conscious Presence from us, and another God whom our fathers knew not is making himself at home among us. This God we have made and because we have made him we can understand him; because we have created him he can never surprise us, never overwhelm us, nor astonish us, nor transcend us.

-A.W. Tozer

Does Love Win?

2011-03-02T16:07:00.000-06:00

Orthodoxy has gotten defensive and hipsters have become defiant over the promotional video for Rob Bell's upcoming book, Love Wins. In the video, Bell asks a series of controversial questions about Heaven, Hell, and the Afterlife that have left many wondering if he has become a Universalist. For those who don't know, Universalists believe that Salvation will be offered to all rather than the traditional view of a select (or elect) few. The entire Christian community, especially a few people over at The Gospel Coalition, seems to be up in arms about this, with both sides picking up their stones and preparing. I've done the tough work for you and have the controversial text from the video written here for you as well as the video. So let's hear it. After reading the text and seeing the promo video, are you offended? Are you ready to write off Rob Bell as a heretic? Do you find the idea that everyone might go to Heaven to be offensive or appealing? Does love win, and what does it look like? I'll reserve my opinion, it's time to hear yours.

Will only a few select people make it to heaven? And will billions and billions of people burn forever in hell? And if that’s the case, how do you become one of the few? Is it what you believe or what you say or what you do or who you know or something that happens in your heart? Or do you need to be initiated or take a class or converted or being born again? How does one become one of these few?

Then there is the question behind the questions. The real question [is], “What is God like?”, because millions and millions of people were taught that the primary message, the center of the gospel of Jesus, is that God is going to send you to hell unless you believe in Jesus. And so what gets subtly sort of caught and taught is that Jesus rescues you from God. But what kind of God is that, that we would need to be rescued from this God? How could that God ever be good? How could that God ever be trusted? And how could that ever be good news?

This is why lots of people want nothing to do with the Christian faith. They see it as an endless list of absurdities and inconsistencies and they say, why would I ever want to be a part of that? See what we believe about heaven and hell is incredibly important because it exposes what we believe about who God is and what God is like. What you discover in the Bible is so surprising, unexpected, beautiful, that whatever we have been told and been taught, the good news is actually better than that, better than we could ever imagine.

The good news is that love wins.

Christchurch (Photography Homage)

2011-02-22T14:21:00.007-06:00

I now wish desperately that I had taken more pictures when I was in Christchurch. It was one of my favorite spots in New Zealand. A city surrounded by great geography and filled with fantastic architecture. In light of yesterday's earthquake, I thought I would at least post some photos of the city that I knew; the same city that now lays devastated.

So This Is Christmas...

2010-12-10T11:25:00.005-06:00

Every year, I can't help but find myself marveling at what Christmas has become. A season of buying, stressing, busyness, and over-indulging. We run ourselves into the ground with endless hours of shopping and the plethora holiday parties and dinners to attend. Rather than a time of peace and joy, I hear so many people say, "I can't wait until this season is over and I can rest again." It doesn't have to be this way. Though I am guilty of some of these same things (definitely the over-indulging, thanks to my sister's endless and delicious Holiday baking), I still know that this season could be so much more. I've posted something similar to this for the past two years, and I doubt that I'll stop. No matter if it's new or old to you, it's always worth stopping for a moment and thinking about the real Christmas, imagining a Christmas that can still bring amazing change, hope, and joy into people's lives. I hope you'll take the time to watch the videos, they're at least well made if you don't get anything else out of them.

And if you're looking for ways to give gifts that help others, here are some resources. Need more? Just contact me, I've got plenty.

The Mocha Club. Something I've been a part of for years. Only $7 a month, two drinks at a coffee shop, helps give people clean water and resources in Africa. The do amazing work and have an online store with "Gifts That Give Twice."

Live FashionABLE. A new project from The Mocha Club. FashioinABLE sells scarfs (yes "scarfs" is equally as correct as "scarves" and I like it more) that allow women to have their own business, sustainable income, and freedom. Scarfs are trendy, go get one that helps someone other than a corporate CEO.

Sari Bari. I love this organization. Bags, scarfs, blankets and more hand-made by survivors of the Red Light areas (prostitution/brothels) in Kolkata, India. Each product comes marked with the name of the woman who made it, and you have the chance to become a part of that woman's freedom story.

Red Earth Trade Company. A division of Global Support Mission, Red Earth sells jewelry and home products directly from Nepal and Africa. What you buy supports individual artisans and businesses, and you can even get to know the people who make the products.

Blood:water Mission. I've supported them for years. I love their work. Providing clean water and clean blood to people who don't have access to it. Getting down to the absolute basics of life.

Word Made Flesh. Great people. They help run Sari Bari and work in many marginalized areas, befriending those in need and treating people with dignity and respect.

Charity Water. Priding clean water to those without any access to it. The same thing as blood:water but without a religious aspect.

World Hope International. Deals with education, microfinance, anti-trafficking, orhpan trusts, and more.

2009 Advent Conspiracy Promo

2008 Advent Conspiracy Promo

Drop the Bias - A Realistic View of the Heisman Race

2010-10-29T00:24:00.003-05:00

I don't normally use my blog to write about sports related topics, but given that I haven't used it for much of anything recently it seems that any post will be a good thing. Having lived in the heart of SEC territory for some time now, I have grown very frustrated with the bias toward the SEC and the way the Heisman race is currently shaping up. As of now, according to ESPN, the Heisman voters would unanimously hand the award to Cam Newton from Auburn. I have a huge problem with that, and here's why.

Now, before all of you die-hard Auburn/SEC fans become irate, know that I think Cam Newton is a great player. Certainly one of the best in the country. I simply don't think he's the best. Auburn hasn't played the toughest schedule (again, I know you are all very upset right now), but look at the numbers. Lay down your bias for a moment and do some research. Newton's biggest games came against Arkansas (51st in points against and without any real wins - Georgia and Ole Miss are at the bottom of the SEC), South Carolina (again, a win over Georgia doesn't prove anything, and one game against an over-rated Alabama team doesn't mean anything when it's followed by a loss at Kentucky and a struggle with Vandy), and Kentucky. Seriously, Kentucky ranks 98th in the nation in points against, and Florida, Ole' Miss, and Georgia all put up more points and won more convincingly versus Kentucky than Auburn. Florida doesn't even have an offense.

The best team that Auburn has played against so far is LSU. Yes, many people think that LSU has a great defense, but the numbers suggest that they are overrated. LSU has built it's reputation for a stingy defense by playing opponents with miserable offenses. As of this past weekend, the opponents that LSU has played teams that rank 70th, 105th, 57th, 69th, 94th, 62nd, and 11th (Auburn) in total scoring. Not exactly a tough lineup. Only one team other than Auburn wasn't in the bottom half of the 120 FBS teams, and they barely made that cut at 57th. That means most teams would fare well against that schedule. The same goes for much of the SEC, where the teams have been praised as having tough defenses when the reality of the situation is that the teams they've played have no offense. Even so, the mediocre LSU defense held Newton to roughly 300 total yards, something that Denard Robinson has not been held to in a full game at this point. Robinson, though I absolutely hate to give credit to anything pertaining to the University of Michigan, has numbers that are similar to Newton's though he has had significantly less playing time.

I could go on, and will gladly do so at the request of anyone seeking more info on just how I believe the SEC to be over-hyped this year, but for now I'll move on to my real purpose. Since no running back currently has more rushing yards than with Robinson or Newton, it would stand to reason that no RB is going to be able to win the award this year without a significant drop off from those two. With Justin Blackmon (the only WR who could potentially steal the show from a QB this year) currently injured, it certainly looks like a QB will take home the hardware. So, in light of that, here is my analysis of the top quarterbacks in the country as they stand right now.

#1 - KELLEN MOORE, Boise State

1,865 passing yds, 18 TDs, 2 INT
69.8% comp. (125/179), 188.30 rating
-25 rushing yds, 0 TDs
1,840 total yards, 18 TDs, 2 Turnovers
1 4th Quarter game winning drive @ VT

*Numbers are based on 7 games played, but only has the playing time equivalent to 5.5 games

Kellen Moore gets my pick for the best QB out there right now. He is extremely smart and very accurate on any ball, whether short or long. He also can never be counted out if he's on the field. Outside of Dan Persa, he's the best passer out there and rarely makes mistakes.

*Based on his average numbers, Moore would have 2,676 total yds, 26 TDs, 2 INT in 8 complete games.

#2 - DENARD ROBINSON, Michigan

1,319 passing yds, 9 TDs, 5 INT
67.8% comp. (97/143), 159.09 rating
1,096 rushing yds, 9 TDs
2,415 total yds, 18 TDs, 5 Turnovers
2 last minute game winning drives

*Numbers are based on 7 games with the playing time of roughly 6 games

I hate to admit it, but the guy is ridiculously good. If he were able to pass with more accuracy and make better decisions in clutch situations and keep the turnovers down, specifically the red zone, he'd be the best in the country.

*Based on averages, Robinson would have 3,174 total yardds (1,758 passing, 1,416 rushing), 24 TDs, and 7 INT in 8 complete games. Those numbers are absolutely absurd, he just needs to keep the turnovers down to give his team a chance to win games.

#3 - ROBERT GRIFFIN III, Baylor

2,373 passing yds, 18 TDs, 4 INT
66.7% comp. (180/270), 159.53 rating
384 rushing yds, , 6 TDs
2,757 total yds, 24 TDs, 4 Turnovers
Leading a previously awful team to greatness

*Numbers are based on 8 games played

Most people are ignoring the results coming out of Baylor. I admit, without the publicity and media coverage of nationally televised games, it's tough to find out about all of the good players. However, this is no excuse. The internet is a fantastic thing. I just found out about all of his stats today, and they certainly are impressive. I give Griffin the nod over Auburn because the Heisman is about the best individual player, not necessarily the best supporting cast. Newton has a team around him to cover his errors when he makes them, not necessarily the case here in Baylor.

#4 - CAMERON NEWTON, Auburn

1,364 passing yards, 13 TDs, 5 INT
65.2% comp. (90/138), 172.08 rating
1,077 rushing yds, 14 TDs
2,441 total yds, 27 TDs, 5 Turnovers
1 4th Quarter game winning drive

*Numbers are based on 8 games played

Newton is a stud. 6'6", 250 lbs. Do you need to know more? It's tough to stop any player that size, whether its a QB, RB, or linebacker. Newton has put up great numbers in his past two games, but I have to believe that most of the hype he is getting right now is because Denard Robinson was on a bye this past week and was injured the week before. Auburn also hasn't faced a stout defense and will run into trouble if they do. Given that the SEC defenses are softer than normal this year, Alabama may be his only tough test, but even they haven't proven yet anything this year.

#5 - BRYANT MONTIZ, Hawaii

2,921 passing yds, 22 TDs, 6 INT
65.1% comp. (211/324), 159.55 rating
71 rushing yds, 1 TD
2,992 total tds, 23 TDs, 6 Turnovers

*Numbers are based on 8 games played

As usual, Hawaii once again has a quarterback putting up video game numbers every Saturday. He's been impressive, even against teams with normally strong defenses such as USC. If Hawaii had defense, they would be tough to deal with. Sadly, he'll have to put up more TDs to be considered since he doesn't run the ball.

#6 - DAN PERSA, Northwestern

1,850 passing yds, 10 TDs, 3 INT
75.7% comp. (156/206), 164.28 rating
341 rushing yds, 6 TDs
2,191 total yds, 16 TDs, 3 Turnovers
1 4th Quarter game winning drive

*Numbers are based on 7 games played

Persa is perhaps the most underrated quarterback in a big conference. He is the most accurate and efficient in the country, but nobody knows his name. He has the capability to make ny defense miserable, as he recently showed against Michigan State, and is mobile enough to do damage with his legs. He is a very smart player and certainly one of the best, but likely won't be considered unless he has career days against the remaining schedule. Northwestern's inability to get in the endzone enough is his downfall.

*Based on the averages, Persa would have 2,504 total yds (2114 passing, 390 rushing), 18 TDs, and 3 INT in 8 games.

#7 - TERRELLE PRYOR, Ohio State

1,775 passing yds, 18 TDs, 6 INT
66.0% comp. (134/203), 162.81 rating
408 rushing yds, 3 TDs
2,183 total yds, 21 TDs, 6 Turnovers

*Numbers are based on 8 games played, though he did come out in the 4th quarter of 3 games.

Pryor has been quietly dominant this year. There hasn't been a lot of hype, perhaps given the unrealistic expectations placed on him from the start. Still, the numbers don't lie, and what he's done is good enough to be in contention for the award at this point. He has work to do, but it isn't over yet. I only have him behind Persa because of the turnovers.

#8 - ANDREW LUCK, Stanford

1,728 passing yds, 19 TDs, 5 INT
66.5% comp. (133/200), 165.43 rating
253 rushing yds, 2 TDs
1,981 total yds, 21 TDs, 5 Turnovers

*Numbers are based on 8 games played

Like Pryor, Luck has work to do. He has certainly played well this season and has earned the national attention he is getting. A very accurate passer, even against tough competition, he has shown that he can compete against anyone. With other options on his team, he might not get the chances needed to take home any awards.

#9 - TAYLOR MARTINEZ, Nebraska

1,046 passing yds, 8 TDs, 3 INT
59.5% comp. (66/111), 156.99 rating
870 rushing yds, 12 TDs
1916 total yds, 20 TDs, 5 Turnovers

*Numbers are based on 8 games played

Martinez was a front-runner early in the season, but has faded off, specifically after getting pulled versus Texas. That kind of decision, whether the coach admits it was a mistake or not, will stick in the heads off voters. Martinez is a double threat similar to Robinson and Newton, but would have to surpass their numbers to win.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Honorable Mentions:

These players have put up good numbers, and Cousins has actually been mentioned in the Heisman race, but they simply don't hold up against the competition.

TAYLOR POTTS, Texas Tech

2,161 passing yds, 20 TDs, 5 INT
65.7% comp. (213/324), 139.05 rating
-40 yds rushing, 0 TDs
2,121 total yds, 20 TDs, 5 Turnovers
2 clutch 4th Q comeback drives to win/force OT

*Numbers are based on 8 games played

KIRK COUSINS, Michigan State

1,948 passing yds, 14 TDs, 4 INT
66.5% comp. (141/212), 155.13 rating
-71 yds rushing, 0 TDs
1,877 total yds, 14 TDs, 4 Turnovers
2 clutch 4th Quarter comeback drives to win/force OT

*Numbers are based on 8 games played

Flood Photos

2010-05-08T08:07:00.002-05:00

I have posted many of my photos of the flood and the damage it caused up on Facebook. If you don't have Facebook, well, then you'll have to wait a bit. I might post them on Flickr. If you do have Facebook, go check them out and find a way to support Nashville through this time. I can't imagine how all of the people/families that just took on anywhere from $20,000-$60,000 and more worth of damage will be making it through this. Just yesterday I spoke with a man who is packing his family up and moving back to Ohio after being here in Nashville only 5 months. Sadly, they lost just about everything and don't have the means to stay here. I have to believe there are many more just like him. If you want to donate money, check out Hands On Nashville, The Red Cross or Samaritan's Purse.

Nashville Flood - We Need Your Help

2010-05-06T13:05:00.005-05:00

For those of you not in the Nashville area, here is a brief recap of what is happening here and the great need of thousands in the area.

Early Saturday morning, the rain began falling. As soon as it hit, the rain relentlessly pummeled the earth below and fell at an alarming rate. We all laughed and joked at the incredible amount of water that was falling from the sky. It was so heavy that gutters couldn’t handle it, the rain simple flowed over the edges of buildings and houses anyway. By Saturday evening, when the rain hadn’t let up for a minute the entire day, we began to think that perhaps this was more serious that just a little rain. Those living near rivers or streams began to think about water potentially rising.

Sunday morning, many who lived near the waters woke up to the water having risen to an alarming level. It wasn’t long before police began evacuating neighborhoods. In only a matter of hours, everything went to chaos. Trees fell on houses. Streets actually became rivers up to 8 feet deep and moving with incredible force. Interstates were flooded over and closed. It was virtually impossible to drive due to closed and flooded roads. Entire communities and cities were stranded. Houses and business were submerged. If you haven’t seen the photos and videos coming from Nashville, please do so. You can find them just about anywhere, but here is a link to some photos that I feel tell the story pretty well.

The damage here is simply absurd. The water rose so fast and was so unexpected that people didn’t have time to move all of their possessions. Now, the simply have massive piles of trash in their yards as they throw their lives to the curb. Flood waters covered entire houses in many cases, and in those instances, people lost everything. In others, the house can potentially be salvaged, but it requires tearing down drywall, dragging out the soaking wet insulation, ripping up floors, pulling down trim, and completely gutting the house in order to let it dry out and hopefully avoid mold and mildew taking over. All of this before even thinking about rebuilding.

The bottom line is that Nashville is in trouble. We have thousands of people who’ve lost everything, thousands more struggling to save their homes, and a multitude of businesses and jobs lost. I’m really proud of the way people here have stepped up to the challenge to help out here, but we still need much more. Shelters are maxed out, the economy looks shaky as a result of the damage, we are being asked to use 1/2 as much water as normal or less due to our water supply crisis, and the need for volunteers will extend for months. If you can get here to help out, more hands are always needed. If you can donate money to people here who’ve lost everything, so much is needed. You can donate to two organizations here that are doing a ton of work right now, The Red Cross and Hands On Nashville. There are also other aid organizations working, like Samaritan’s Purse. Churches have stepped up in a huge way. If you’re here in Nashville, stop by, lend a hand. Make some meals for people who’ve just lost everything and don’t have the time to think about food or the capabilities to make it. There are a thousand ways to help out, and right now, we need it.

40 Days of Water

2010-02-14T14:26:00.008-06:00

Blood:water Mission is about to begin a campaign called 40 Days of Water. The concept is fairly simple. For 40 days, drink nothing but water. Every time you find that you normally would have had something different, keep track of the money that you would have spent on it. At the end of the 40 days, you total up the money you saved and donate that money in order to provide people in Africa with clean drinking water. Such a small sacrifice, and something we take for granted every day, can make an enormous impact. Please, please take part in this.

They even make it simple and by signing up online you can keep track of your savings and view your progress. To check out my page, click here. If you want more information on the campaign, check out their site. I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but only $1 can provide clean drinking water to someone in Africa for a year. Even if your sacrifice isn't that huge (perhaps you're like me and mainly drink water as it is), participate for the sake of perspective or awareness. The experience should give you just a little bit more understanding of just how blessed we are and it's a great opportunity to talk about the need around the world. 40 days. Water only. Do it.

More Windmills in Michigan?

2009-12-25T20:08:00.004-06:00

Thanks to Adam Thada for the heads up on this. I read this post and couldn't help but relay the information. If you know anything about the West Michigan area, you'll know that there is a city named Holland that is known for it's Dutch heritage. The area has plenty of two part names beginning with Van or De, an entire festival devoted to tulips (in which people wear traditional Dutch attire and wooden shoes), and a windmill or two around town. Perhaps someone thought that the "famous" windmills in the Holland area had gone over so well as tourist attractions that they would try them again in other areas. That's right, windmills, but this time wind energy windmills, are potentially coming to more of Michigan, specifically Mason and Oceana counties. And they would come in the thousands.

I'll let you find out the details by reading it straight from the source, but I will also give you a brief rundown for those who would rather not click the link (but if you're that opposed to reading I am perplexed that you're still reading this blog...). In a nutshell, they want to put a TON of windmills off of the West Michigan coast line near Ludington to provide clean and efficient energy source. So, rather than standing on the beach/pier/dune/anything near the coast and enjoying the incredible scenery/sight of nothing but water around you/sunset, you would instead be staring at a boatload of windmills. I know, I know, the idea looks great on paper, but I would hate to see it happen. Maybe I'm just too attached to the West Michigan area, but I just can't be excited about this proposition.

Here are some comments and artist renditions of the project.

Gifts That Matter pt. 2

2009-12-21T12:24:00.008-06:00

If you're still struggling to find ways to give to those you love this year without jumping on the consumerism band wagon, maybe this will help. This year The Mocha Club is offering gifts that give twice. Not only can you get a gift that someone else will love including coffee, mugs, t-shirts, hoodies, tote bags, and more, but the money you use to buy those gifts will go to benefit people in need in Africa. You can even pick which area that you would like to give the money to. Some of The Mocha Club's areas of involvement include Child Mothers & Women At Risk, Education, Clean Water, Orphan Care & Vulnerable Children, and HIV/AIDS & Health Care. If you aren't familiar with The Mocha Club, I've long been a supporter and talked about them many times on my blog, but you can find out more info on their site. Here are a few of the options available, and for more options go CHECK OUT THEIR STORE.

Coffee, hot chocolate, or a mug.

Who doesn't love at least one of these?

My personal favorite is the card...

Rather than giving a gift, give to
people in need on their behalf.

Gifts That Matter pt. 1

2009-12-18T23:09:00.006-06:00

If you've read my previous posts, perhaps you find yourself wanting to make a difference but not knowing how to do it. I certainly hope that this is the case, and if so here is a way that you make Christmas change lives again.

Blood:Water Mission is currently in the middle of a campaign to provide bio-sand clean water filters to families this Christmas. I touched on this in a previous post and would certainly encourage everyone to participate. For only $85, you can buy a water filter that will provide clean, disease-free water to a family for up to 20 years. Talk about the gift that keeps on giving. This is something you could do as a family, on your own, as a group of friends, anything. Only $85, and up to 20 years of water. For more info, check out the site.

Though there are many ways to give this year, this is something that I really like. And for the skeptics who read this and say, "But what are you doing to help?" Well, I'm buying two. Help make Christmas memorable for others who are in need this year.

Give the Gift of Clean Water from Blood:Water Mission on Vimeo.

Christmas Can Still Change The World

2009-12-15T12:04:00.005-06:00

Christmas is approaching. Though it is not snowing here in Nashville, I know that people are still lining up in stores all over the country as the panic begins to set in over all of those gifts that they haven't purchased yet. The heavy traffic, commotion in the stores, long lines, wrapping paper, bows, stress, and worry all are normal for this time of year. But they don't have to be.

I posted last year about the Advent Conspiracy. If you want a refresher, or aren't familiar with that post, you can find it HERE. I encourage you to check it out and read up on the Advent Conspiracy as well. But the gist of this is that rather than packing more and more presents under a tree so you can give someone a gift they don't really need or want, we give the people who are important to us things that really matter. We give them presence. We give time, love, relationship, peace. We give them what they really need and what will actually bring us closer to them. The things that actually bring joy.

As for what we do with all of that left over money that we planned on spending on physical gifts, I'll be posting different ways to spend that money in the next couple days. The hope is that we use that money for the better. For people who don't have what they need. Christmas can still be all about change, and it can still make a difference. I hope you'll join me in that effort.

Wealth and Freedom

2009-11-30T14:16:00.006-06:00

I don't like wealth.

**Insert gasp and puzzled or dirty look here**

There. I said it.

Think what you will, about the ideas of freedom and opportunity so often promoted in America and among capitalist markets, about being able to make a life for yourself, and getting what you deserve...

I just don't like any of it.

For quite some time now I have tried to move away from American culture and live a life that is a stark contrast to the status quo. I champion the donations of time and money to people who need it. I try to live a life of self-denial in many aspects (especially in terms of spending money) that I might be able to better help those in need. I am often very disgusted around wealth and uncomfortable in the presence of it.

My problem is not with making a large sum of money. I am in contention with the lifestyle and society that compels us to hold on to our money and use it on ourselves when there are people all around the world who are dying. While we are buying (multiple) cars that are far more expensive than we need, most people don't have transportation. While we are going out to dinner and spending $25+ for two people just for a change or because we don't want to cook a meal, millions go without food. We get tired of our current clothing selection and go buy something more trendy while others are naked. "Not me. I'm not rich," you may find yourself thinking, but the numbers paint a different picture.

To put it in perspective, roughly 2.5 billion people (almost half of the world) live on less that $2 US a day. The bottom 50% of the world population accounts for only 1.1% of the global wealth. If you make more the $25,000 (US) a year, you are in the top 10% of the globe. If you own a car, you can just go ahead and consider yourself in the top 7%. If you make over $50,000 (US) a year, you are in the top 1% on the list of the world's wealthiest people. Take a moment and let that sink in.

Now for the hard part. Admission. I will be very transparent for a moment and talk about something that I don't really like to talk about. This year has been really tough for me. I moved to a new city, have had plenty of struggles, and haven't made much money. As of right now, entering December, I've earned less than $15,000 for the year. There are times when I wonder if I'll be able to pay bills. By all means, especially when compared to those around me in a city that loves to binge on food, drink, and image, I am not wealthy. I can't really afford new clothing, health insurance, or most entertainment ventures. But guess what? I have been extremely blessed this year to be in the place that I am. I still walk out to my kitchen and find food that I can eat. I have a car to drive when I want to go somewhere. I have a bed to sleep in. I am typing this from my laptop and home internet. I still have shelter, water, heat, and clothing. I have more than enough. I am wealthy. And you are too.

Once you come to grips with this, you have to ask yourself what you are going to do. When you realize that the richest 1% of the world accounts for 40% of the world's consumption, how do you feel? If you are a Christian, do you tithe? Do you give money away? Studies show that American church-goers only gave 2.58% of their income away in 2005, and only a whopping 9% of people who claim their faith is the greatest influence of their life and conduct even tithe. If we were to give away the full 10% that is asked of us by God, the result would be an extra $168 billion dollars.

For me, this admission isn’t just about action. I can certainly do more, but I have, at least since sophomore year of college, been good about tithing, giving, going on mission trips, being involved in my church, helping out at rescue missions, etc. I budget my money so that I am tithing 10% and giving away at least another 10%. I spend far less on entertainment and food than just about any of my friends. However, I have recently had to make a concession that was not easy. I realized that so many of the things I love to do are the direct result of being born in America. The very wealth and freedom that I have so often condemned stands before me as something that I have taken advantage of time after time. I love to travel and have been incredibly blessed to have seen so many places and people. I love sports and being active and have had the opportunity to pursue things like surfing, skiing, water sports, hiking, etc. I am passionate about music/drumming, have drums sitting in my basement, and have put who knows how much money and time into it. All of these things could have been drastically different if I would have been born somewhere else. No matter how much I try to fight the grain of our culture and society, the things I enjoy are inseparably linked to it.

So how does that affect me? How do I move forward from here? Can I still pursue other interests and continue to champion the causes that I have so long supported? Can I live in freedom without taking it away from someone else? Can I point out the evils of American culture when I am a beneficiary of them? Where is the line? I certainly hope that I am not a complete hypocrite in this matter, though it is certainly a possibility. I know that the passions God has placed inside me are not all misguided, I simply need to be careful in how I go about them. There has to be a way to use wealth to benefit others (rather than yourself) that doesn’t completely collapse the economic system that generates it...

While I attempt to find answers for my questions, I hope that you will join me in supporting causes that are much bigger than yourself this year for the Holiday season. Rather than over-stuffing a stocking that is already full, maybe this is the year that your gifts go to people who really need them. Gifts that come in the form of water, food, shelter. Gifts that bring life. I’ll be supporting Blood:Water Mission this year and giving clean water in the form of biosand water filters, I hope that you will join me. If you are interested, click on the image to learn more.

Alive and Twitting

2009-11-05T21:32:00.002-06:00

The lack of posts to my blog in recent days certainly is not because of a lack of happenings. My life is never boring here as I am regularly forced to rely more and more on God and His provision. Nothing good that happens is of my own doing, but of circumstances that He has orchestrated and made sure that I know He still has control. I have plenty of questions and situations that I am trying to navigate through at the moment, however rather than sitting down and typing all of these thoughts out, as has been my habit for so long, I have found myself keeping many of these thoughts to myself and simply posting brief, and I mean the 140 characters or fewer kind of brief, to give insight into my daily happenings. So for those who are more accustomed to reading my lengthy updates on life and other ramblings, I apologize for the moment and encourage you to follow me on facebook or twitter, for at the moment it seems much more likely that I post something there than here. I've even incorporated a twitter widget here on the blog so you can see some of the more recent posts if you still haven't joined the twitter revolution. Anyway, that's all for now. More meaningful updates will follow at some point.

Making Nashville Move

2009-10-13T16:40:00.003-05:00

Next Big Nashville ended this past Saturday and I'm still recovering from late nights at shows and bouncing from venue to venue trying to catch everything that I could. I saw a lot of great artists/bands, met a lot of people, and got to sit in on some very interesting panels. I definitely enjoyed the event and it was well worth the cost of a badge to gain unlimited access.

I'll leave you with one thing that stood out to me from the 4 day mayhem. A band named Space Capone. Nashville can often be a tough place to play as people sit back with crossed arms and think, "Impress me" but Space Capone brought the "disco/funk" (according to keyboardist Daniel Ellsworth) and had the whole room dancing. Any band that gets a room full of Nashvillians moving has my respect. Here's a video with a brief glimpse of Space Capone and their choreographed background vocals.

Phone Down

2009-10-09T11:34:00.003-05:00

(Disclaimer: No, I do not have an iPhone. This photo was simply appropriate.)

My phone officially stopped functioning yesterday. The screen started by showing random colors and not displaying things properly, it transitioned to barely recognizable images through crazy colors, static, and diagonal lines, and now will not show anything at all on the screen. Fortunately, it seems to be under manufacturer warranty and I won't have to pay (as I couldn't afford to anyway) for a new phone, however for the next few days as I wait for the replacement phone to get here, I will most likely be without a means of direct communication. If you want to get in touch, try contacting me by email or facebook. Thanks!

My Turn Signal, Really?

2009-09-29T15:48:00.003-05:00

Nashville police are notoriously dirty and sneaky. It isn't uncommon to see people pulled over, and often the car with the flashing lights is a car that you never would have suspected to be a cop. Last night I had my first run in with the law here in Music City, but for something I never would have expected.

There were two police cars with someone already pulled over on the left side of Charlotte last night as I made my way to JJ's. Charlotte has two lanes each way, and the old, white truck in the right lane was going especially slow due to the flashing lights on the other side of the road. (When I say especially slow I mean 10 mph under the speed limit as opposed to 5 mph under, which is painstakingly normal here.) So, I was approaching him quite quickly as I was going at the posted speed limit. I changed lanes to pass him, and as I pulled back into the right lane (I don't like left lane riders) I noticed a car behind me that wasn't there before. This car had only one headlight, and as it also pulled over immediately after passing the truck I knew there was a good chance that is was a cop. I was right.

The lights began to flash and I immediately pulled over to the right and sat confidently in my car knowing that I had not been speeding. The officer approached my window and asked if I had my license and registration. Knowing that I owed him nothing without a just cause for pulling me over, and probably a bit too confident at this point, before I handed him anything I responded by saying, "Yeah, what's up?" He seemed slightly taken back by my questioning his motives and proceeded to inform me that as I had passed the truck, I failed to use my turn signal as I changed from the right to left lane. I did, however, use it when I moved back to the right lane and completed my pass.

"My turn signal?" I couldn't help but utter.

"Yes. You have to use your turn signal when changing lanes if it directly affects traffic" came his response. Right, the necessity of using your turn signal is not something that I was unaware of, I was simply shocked that I was actually pulled over for this. In my head, I had many responses. Fortunately, as he had stated immediately that he was not issuing me a ticket when telling me why he pulled me over, I was able to let those all go unsaid.

But seriously, don't we all have better things to do? Was he honestly that bored or was he looking for something else? Did he honestly pull me over for failing to use my turn signal one of two times while changing lanes? And there wasn't even any traffic behind me at the time! Furthermore, how in the world is it okay for him to drive around with only one headlight, intentionally, and endanger others as a result and then pull me over for not using a turn signal? I find the double standards of the police quite frustrating. Next time I am going to make a citizen's arrest.

My Heart's Desire

2009-08-24T23:24:00.004-05:00

I’m not sure when it first became cemented into my personality, but at some point, I became somewhat of an adrenaline and experience junkie. There is nothing that I long for more than to experience new things, push myself to new limits, and ideally to share those moments with others. I manage to include others into the scope of my goals, but it certainly is not the focus. The bottom line is that I am happiest when climbing mountains, jumping out of airplanes, or dropping in on waves. I am happiest when pushing my limits and experiencing God's creation.

But perhaps this is skewed. Maybe I am missing the mark. In fact, the more I study the Bible, or at least listen to the words of those who have, the more I find that the very focus of Christ’s ministry is not epic journeys, tall mountains, and perfect waves, but a relentless pursuit of relationship. He sought community. He sought love.

I say that I love challenges; that I enjoy pushing my limits. Well, guess what. Community is HARD WORK. Loving people is by far the most difficult thing a person like me could ever do. It’s so much easier to go climb mountains, jump out of airplanes, and drop in on waves than it is to know someone for who they are and remain relentlessly committed to loving them. To embrace their faults. To pour love on their wounds. To be vulnerable with my own fears, insecurities, and screwups. To openly put those in the court of someone else and wait for a response. I am beginning to believe that this is the real challenge. This is the real heart of life. Christ doesn’t ask us to climb mountains or push the physical limitations of our bodies, instead He asks that we would push the boundaries of grace, mercy, and love.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love you neighbor as yourself.”  -Matthew 22:37-39

He doesn’t say that people will recognize His followers by how perfect we are. We won’t be known for how much we push ourselves and how high we can climb. The way we will be recognized is by how we can love.

So the question for me then, is how do I pursue this? How do I change my entire worldview? What will it take for me to really understand what matters? My head understands, but my heart is reluctant to respond. The greatest joy that God offers to us is not the feeling that envelops a person as he stands atop a mountain. The greatest joy we can experience, as well as our greatest challenge, risk, and journey, will be to pursue a life irrevocably committed to love, mercy, and grace. To fully know someone and to love them anyway. There will be nothing more difficult, and nothing more rewarding.

So why does my heart continually desire something else?

Interesting Read

2009-08-11T23:49:00.002-05:00

Check out this post, I certainly found it interesting (as well as true) and I think you will too.

http://experimentaltheology.blogspot.com/2009/08/bait-and-switch-of-contemporary.html

Consider This - pt. 1

2009-07-25T00:39:00.003-05:00

“When someone strips a man of his clothes, we call him a thief. And one who might clothe the naked and does not -- should not he be given the same name? The bread in your cupboard belongs to the hungry; the coat in your wardrobe belongs to the naked; the shoes you let rot belong to the barefoot; the money in your vaults belongs to the destitute.”

-Basil the Great

Bring Water to the Needy

2009-07-03T19:16:00.003-05:00

The Senator Paul Simon Water for the World Act of 2009 (S.624) aims to bring clean water to 100 million people who need it. You can help bring sustainable, first-time access to clean water and sanitation to some of the poorest people in the world by only signing your name. Please take a moment and help this move forward!

SUPPORT THE BILL BY CLICKING HERE

Michigan May Dissappear Into the Great Lakes

2009-06-20T11:21:00.005-05:00

Things simply don't get any better for people living in Michigan. They have just been hit with a round of heavy storms and simply ludicrous amounts of rain, leaving those already ravaged by unemployment with new auto bills or feet of water in their basements. Currently, according to news sources, there are roughly 30,000 people without power. That lack of power means even those who were "prepared" and had sump pumps in their basements are still flooded unless they had a generator as a backup power source (Mom, you were right).

Already the state with the worst economy in the country, it was reported in May that Michigan leads the nation with a 14.1% unemployment rate. That is simply shocking. The number may not seem that large, but that is roughly 1 out of every 7 people. The national average is 9.4%. So for a state desperately struggling to get by, rather than any relief, they instead get higher gas prices (recently Michigan's gas was 40-50 cents higher per gallon than here in Tennessee), a new set of auto repairs for people who attempted to drive or were caught out in the flooding, and homes that are full of water.

Here are the links to stories and some of the more interesting quotes from news reports and people around the area about the recent storms and damage:

Wood TV 8, "Holland Is Under Water"

Wood TV 8, "Storms Flood Parts of West Michigan"

http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_story.aspx?storyid=110570&catid=14

Quotes:

Many buildings on the campus of Hope College have been flooded. A cleanup effort is underway.

The lower level of the college's Schaap Science Center has an estimated three feet of flood water.

11:12pm I just drove down from Ludington on US 31 to Spring Lake. The rain was so bad that it sounded like rocks hitting the car. I could barely see the lines in the road, so I just suggest that people stay off the road or drive very slowly.

10:57pm On 120th Ave. between Riley and Felch in front of the Meadow Springs Apartments in Holland: Water is four feet deep, higher in some areas. Currently, there are approx. 35-40 automobiles, Minivans and SUV's stranded in various stages of flooding, with motorists desperately trying to push their vehicles out of the road while other larger trucks (semis) are pushing their way through the area. Waves cresting up to five feet and overtaking motorists along the half mile stretch. Creeks and ponds in the area are over flowing, adding to the depth in this area. Please advise your viewers to avoid the area at all cost.

10:13pm Holland is crazy! Looks like a tornado went through on Ottawa Beach road. Power lines and trees down all over . Police have the road blocked off. Stay off the road!!

10:13pm I'm on southside of holland. Meadow lanes townhomes is under water, the entrance is completly flooded the water was up to the bottom of my jeep cherokee door.

9:51pm I have received 4.75" of new rainfall in the last 18 hours in my rain gauge in my garden. I am between Hudsonville and Allendale. 40th and Baldwin Street. Moderate winds, but no hail yet.

9:50pm Most of the roads in Holland are impassable and under water. People need to stay OFF the roads. I was driving on 7th and the intersection of Pine, water was coming up over the hood. Major trees down by Kollen's Park, power outages. The street in front of my house is water from sidewalk to sidewalk.

9:48pm I just got a call from someone at the Holland power plant who said that had 3 feet of water in parts of the plant and were sandbagging to keep out the flood. A roof drain blew out and they are having major problems.

9:41pm I live on Hillcrest Way in Logan Estates in Zeeland Michigan. The road is entirely flooded and many cars are trying to make it through and their cars are stalling. Severe lightning, tremendous rain accumulation.

9:35pm I live near Third st and Stocking st. on the Northwest side of Grand Rapids, the extreme rain that came down so much and so fast has caused our entire gutter system around the top of our home to collapse because of the weight of all the water, also my parents live on the SouthEast area of Grand Rapids, 2 cars stalled in flood water and extreme flooding at the intersection of Burton street and Kalamazoo Ave.

9:28pm Hey, We just drove from zeeland to holland. Going under 31 on chicago drive there was about 2 1/2 feet of fast moving water. There were some cars that went through it and were stalling out on the sides of the roads.

Birthday Wish

2009-06-08T15:01:00.004-05:00

I suppose, despite the attempted ignorance on my behalf, that if I choose to live in reality I must then accept that as June 21 approaches, so does my 25th birthday. Though this is not the most pleasant of all thoughts that have crossed my mind recently, rather than dwelling on the plans for my 1/3 life crisis (the average life expectancy for men in the US is 75), I will instead try to make the most of the day.

My family has always been one to celebrate birthdays in a fairly traditional way; by eating a favorite meal, sharing a favorite dessert, and opening many presents. Almost a mini-Christmas for one, if you will. This year, though I certainly have needs that I must address, I am asking for something a little bit different. Instead of giving any gifts to me (if you were even contemplating doing so), I would ask that you consider putting that money to better use. As I have already stated, I certainly have needs, but for the most part I have more material objects and possessions than I would ever know what to do with. So instead of buying something for me, I am encouraging everyone to give the money to those who truly need it.

Perhaps it is a sign of the times, but I have started a "birthday wish," as they are so aptly named, on Facebook, and I would love for everyone who uses Facebook to check it out. Specifically I am asking that people would contribute money to the organization Blood:Water Mission. They seek to provide clean blood and clean water to people who are without. Only $1 can provide clean water to someone in Africa for an entire year. With that in mind, please consider donating and visit the wish page by clicking here. If you aren't on Facebook, you can still donate by visiting the Blood:Water website. Also, there are plenty of other organizations that I support and trust and would love for you to look into such as The Mocha Club, World Hope International, and Word Made Flesh. If you would rather support something with no religious affiliation, please check out Charity: Water. My goal is to raise $500 for Blood:Water Mission, which is as simple as 20 people contributing $25. Think about it, check out the page, and hopefully do something life changing with the money with which you have been blessed.

Thanks so much!

Joanna

2009-05-03T01:29:00.003-05:00

Tonight caught me off guard. However, before I go any further, I need to communicate the context. Please read my friend Kyle Scott’s latest blog before continuing with mine. I promise it will make sense later.

For those who know me well, you’ll know that I often struggle to know what a proper reaction is to a situation. Conversations and encounters can easily become awkward because I am unsure of which words are appropriate. Simple compliments and expressions of gratitude find me lacking a response. The silence builds with the tension as I run through all of the possibles solutions in my head; none of them seeming to fit. This is almost certainly linked to my tendency to over-analyze. My thoughts never shut off.

Well, this also occurs when I see people in poverty. Despite having been around need before (frequent visits to the Grant County Rescue Mission during college, trips to Mexico and Zambia, time in large cities...), just like a compliment, I never become comfortable with it. I watch so many people simply walk by, the vision of someone on the street not for a second tugging on their hearts. That is not me.

An inward battle rages in me every time I pass. My heart is filled with pain as I yearn so desperately to help. The pangs of guilt creep in and I resent my lot in life, that I am the one who was so fortunately born into better circumstances. I long to empty my wallet; to give everything I have. But alongside that pain is the thought that perhaps they cannot be trusted. Society, and sometimes even personal experience, has told me that any money I might give would be used misused. Maybe the person even deserves to be in his current state.

So tonight, as I stood looking into Joanna’s eyes, once again my desire to help found itself battling my sense of entitlement. “Hey,” came the cry from somewhere behind me. I was walking to my car after attending an art gallery open house. I noticed a way out through a parking lot as I was exiting The Arcade, but decided to take the slightly longer route through the rest of the building instead. I had no idea if the call was directed at me, so I continued to walk, hands in pockets on a mild night in downtown Nashville. Again came the cry, though this time with some urgency.

“Hey!”

I decided to turn around, and upon doing so I saw her, arm in the air attempting to flag me down as she awkwardly jogged toward me.

“I can’t move that fast, I’m pregnant,” she exclaimed as I began to walk toward her. Before she was within five feet of me she had already begun to spout her needs and explanations as to why I should help her out. Though my first desire is to help, it wasn’t long before I found myself in that oh-so-familiar place of inner turmoil; trying to decide if I could believe her or not.

Her words were fast, and not always clearly annunciated. Her emotions were obviously high as she attempted to explain her situation, and something about it made me think that this was not her first attempt. It could have been her attempt to tell me all that was wrong in her life as quickly as possible, or maybe it was the nervous way her hands moved as she spoke. Regardless, I stood silently trying to hear it all.

The first thing Joanna said was that she was trying to get a dollar for coffee. She wanted to go to McDonald’s and was very hungry. I asked why she wouldn’t get food if she had a dollar since coffee wouldn’t help her that much. She then informed me that it was all she could afford, because she had to pay for the bus to get there. Knowing that the golden arches could be found only a few blocks away, I was a bit confused. She mentioned her pregnancy again, though she was not showing enough for me to verify. The pregnancy became a theme throughout the conversation as she referenced only drinking water (because she couldn’t afford food) and throwing it up due to the child. It was a while before I found out that she was living at a women’s shelter in Antioch, a few miles away from Nashville. This is where the bus comes in. The bus brought her right to the shelter, where there was a McDonald’s across the street. She went there with other women from the shelter, but with no money was only able to drink water as the others ate.

It took a bit of convincing before she agreed to walk toward the bus stop. I had offered to pay for her bus ticket, but she was more concerned with getting food. The problem was that in order to get food, I needed to get her on the bus. Her initial protests did not help me believe that she actually wanted the money for bus fare and food. The distance from our location at the time also was not in her favor. But why must I always question someone motives when they ask for something? Why can I not freely give?

As we walked to the bus station, she told me that she was pregnant because she was raped by someone who was now in the army. She frequently mentioned that she loved God and loved Jesus. She was Catholic and was at church earlier that night before our conversation began. Standing at a traffic light, she told me that I would certainly be blessed for helping her. That someday I would drive a Mercedes for my generosity. I kindly explained that I would rather not have the Mercedes and don’t necessarily believe in a prosperity gospel. As I spoke I couldn’t help but wonder if she viewed blessings as material possessions due to her circumstances.

Joanna, though already 40, also felt that someday she would marry a white man and have lots of babies. 14 or 15 of them. After I expressed that I didn’t think her solution to life was found in marrying a white man, she insisted the opposite and cited “more beautiful babies” as her reason. This apparently cued her curiosity and she asked if I was married. After hearing that I am unwed, she responded by saying I should be. And for the remaining block spoke of how handsome she thought I was. All of this positive reinforcement seemed to me to be her way of trying to ensure that I would help her. I wish she could have seen that my help did not hinge upon her story, her telling me that she loved God, or her verbal affirmation. All I wanted was to really know the truth. I just am so slow to trust in these situations.

I like to make sure, at least as well as I can, that money I give someone is used well. I have a hard time simply handing cash to someone (probably because I never have it on me), but am very willing to sit down and eat a meal with them. Thus, upon arriving at the bus station and finding the bus doors closed and the driver taking a momentary restroom break, I decided to talk for a moment longer and give her the money as she boarded. I still held some fear that she would take the money and never step foot on the bus. For whatever reason, this really set her off. She desperately pled with me to give her the money before the driver returned, insisting that I was intentionally embarrassing her by waiting. For a reason I could not grasp, she did not want the driver to see me hand her money. According to her story, the bus drops her off at the door of the shelter, so I could not understand how me giving her money would be any further insult.

Not knowing exactly how to react, I asked her to trust me. She asked me for twenty dollars, apparently a bit more bold than when she first stopped me on the street. I didn’t even have twenty dollars. I was lucky I had cash on me at all. She then asked for ten, and I looked in my wallet and saw a five and five ones. The bus fare was $1.60 and I know the prices at McDonald’s. By this point in time the bus drive had returned and I handed her the five ones. I probably shouldn’t have been surprised, but her response of, “That’s it?” hurt me. I tried to explain that I don’t have a job either and that money isn’t something I have a lot of. After realizing she wouldn’t be getting more from me she dug in her pocket to see if she had the 60 cents for the bus in order to keep the rest for food. As I heard the clang of the change moving in her pocket, my trust was broken down, for earlier in the night she had told me she didn’t even have two pennies.

I simply don’t always have the answers. As I walked away from the bus station, I found myself wondering if I had done the right thing? Had I given too much to someone who would abuse it? Had I not given enough and lacked the faith and trust that was necessary? What is the proper response? In the end, my heart will not stop breaking for the poor and marginalized. The Bible explicitly tells us to take care of those with less than us. No matter how hard it may be, and no matter how many times I feel taken advantage of, I cannot ignore God’s prompting. As someone attempting to follow Christ, perhaps my only response in such situation is to give unless I feel anything different, and trust that God will take care of the rest.

A Crisis of Faith

2009-04-19T21:55:00.010-05:00

I find myself now in the midst of one of, if not the, most trying times of my life. Not, however, for the reasons you may think.

It is not because there is nobody around me. I just spent a great month with friends and family in Michigan. I have a girlfriend who, despite the mileage between us, is always by my side. Though I know few people in this city, I am beginning to make new contacts and my “social life” here almost seems to be on the upswing.

It is not because of my work situation. Certainly this has been difficult as well; following what I thought to be God’s call to accept a new job in a distant city only to have it taken away after two months. I will not don the eternal optimist’s facade, smile and tell you this has not affected me. We are in the middle of a severe recession, jobs are extremely tough to find, and I have no idea where God wants me right now. I am trying to trust, but it is certainly easier said than done.

No, the cause of my current situation is not of circumstances, relationships, or jobs, but something much more fundamental. Faith.

After so many years, it's almost embarrassing to admit. I've been on this faith journey trying to seek out truth and follow God's will for my life for nearly 12 years. Certain messages have passed through my ears so many times that I could not attempt to recount them. Easter has recently come and gone, and the message of Christ's death and resurrection, the power of God demonstrated in His victory over death, has been prevalent. This story provides hope to all of humankind. That our iniquities will not mean our death, but that we can have life, hope, and complete restoration through Christ! Surely as someone who has believed for so long this principal could not even in question...

But for me, the power of God is a tricky thing. If you ask me the questions, I will give you all of the right answers. If approached by an unbeliever and questioned on God’s grace and forgiveness, I would most surely say that God’s love covers all. He will transform us and make us into new beings, pure in His sight. Our sins are forgotten, no account of them is held. And all of this is easy to believe...for someone else.

For myself, however, it is a different story. These trying, long-suffering times that I am in require more than I have to offer. No matter how hard I work and how much time I put in, I cannot conquer these obstacles. I stand staring in the face of my own unbelief. I desperately need to understand God’s grace and forgiveness for myself; to be able to accept it and therefore pass it on to others. But I can’t. I fight an uphill battle attempting to let go of hurts or pain caused by others, unable to shake images from my mind.

Do I honestly believe that God can transform wholly? That when we turn to Him we are completely renewed? Do I trust this for myself? Do I trust this for others, even those close to me? Can I let go of my own past and the pasts of others?

Oh, Lord, I know you are sovereign over all. Please make Yourself known in these dark hours.

23 " 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
24 Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, " I do believe; help me over come my unbelief!"

Mark 9: 23-24

I Need Your Support!

2009-03-11T15:59:00.004-05:00

I have been absolutely amazed by the response to my video in such a short time. People have taken the time to view the video, leave comments, rate it, and even open up a YouTube account just so they could to that! Thanks so much, it is truly humbling to see that response.

That said, I still need support! If you haven't yet, please go WATCH MY VIDEO, give it a 5 star rating, and leave a great comment! You do have to follow the link to rate and leave a comment, so what are you waiting for? Go there now! And when you're done with that, head over to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSsQjmTe6_k and leave a comment there as well! I need your support to get this awesome job! If you can, pass this on to everyone you know. Thanks!

Rally the Troops

2009-03-09T07:25:00.004-05:00

My friend David Welch emailed me last night to inform me of pretty much the coolest job ever. STA Travel is hiring 2 interns to travel the world this summer. I honestly feel as though this job was made with me in mind, given that the requirement are a ridiculously strong desire to travel and share your experiences, photography skills, ability to use a mac (did I mention I have degrees in the last two?), and being awesome. That last one is subjective, but regardless, the job entails traveling around the world, experiencing all sorts of amazing things, and simply sharing them via photos, videos, and blogs. I think I was made for this.

So when I found out about it I put together a video as fast as possible since the deadline was at noon today and have posted my official application for this job. The only problem is that part of the way they determine who gets this job is by the online response. Given my late entry, I am a little bit behind. So, this is my official plea for everyone who reads this to GO VOTE FOR ME! Give my video 5 star ratings, leave text comments saying that I am the perfect person for the job (you don't even have to lie because it's true!), tell all of your friends! Anyway, here are the links.

To view my video and give it a 5 star rating:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CxH21471-E

To view STA's video, see other contestants, and leave a text comment saying that I should get this job:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSsQjmTe6_k

So click it, check it out, and let's see what happens!

What Now...

2009-03-07T17:10:00.002-06:00

My time in Nashville has certainly been anything but easy. From the general exhaustion of arranging and taking care of moving details to trying to make connections and establish any sort of real relationships to getting my tires slashed, it has seemingly been one thing right after the other to make sure that I don't get too comfortable here. Last Friday I experienced yet another one of these events as I was informed that I no longer had a job. It took the economy only three brief months (only two of which was I employed) from the time I accepted the job to change the business landscape enough that the company that was looking to hire another designer to fulfill the workload had to cut the position due to a lack of work.

I suppose that the timing, if this is possible for such an event, worked out well as Kelsey arrived to visit for her spring break that very evening. Rather than having one weekend and the evenings when I was done with work to spend together, we were able to relax and spend the entire week together. Outside of that, I am left with nothing short of a myriad of questions. Why did I feel so confident that I was supposed to take the job and leave everything to come to Nashville if the job was simply going to disappear and leave me stranded? Was I really supposed to be here or was it a mistake? Does God really want me to be here? Was the job just a way to get me to leave West Michigan? Now that God has gotten me out of Michigan, am I supposed to be elsewhere? Am I not supposed to be looking for graphic design jobs? Should I be doing something different?

The questions go on and on, and right now I simply don't have any answers. I know that I will be taking a lot of time to listen and try to get some sort of direction. The desire to simply get out of the country has never been higher. With no job and no responsibilities here it seems like to perfect time to leave... In the mean time, I'm contemplating some sort of trip to get out of this city and give me some time to think and breathe. I would certainly appreciate any prayer for clarity and direction as I try to get through this time.

Vandalism

2009-02-22T18:18:00.003-06:00

This weekend involved something that I have never experienced before. On Saturday night I was the victim of a blatant act of vandalism; one that had no apparent reason or rhyme. I parked my car on the side of the road in the line of other cars of people who were at the house of some friends. I thought nothing of it, nor should I have, but around 10:45 someone noticed that there were quite a few cars with flat tires. I cannot even begin to imagine what goes on inside the head of someone who does this, but for whatever reason he/she/they decided to let the air out of the tires of 6 cars along the street.

There was no pattern, as some cars simply had the valved stems clipped while others, such as mine, had the sidewalls punctured. Given that the sidewall of a tire cannot be patched, I had to replace two tires on my vehicle, which was especially thrilling since I just purchased new tires two months ago.

Fortunately, there were people gracious enough to give those affected rides home and make sure everything was taken care of, but I can't say how frustrating this is. I would be more understanding if the person had targeted a specific group of people. Maybe they were frustrated with wealth and decided to target people who drove expensive cars and could obviously afford the damage. But this is not the case. The cars affected were not specifically "nice" cars (any of you who know my car can certainly attest to this). Even more frustrating is that now a lot of money is being spent on things that were completely unnecessary. If the person had a need and wanted $150 (my cost for replacing the tires after everything), I would have gladly given it to them. I set aside money to give away. Instead, I'm out that money and nobody gained anything. Rather than being able to do something good with that money, I had to throw it away on tires I had just bought.

Situations such as this are simply baffling to me. I certainly hope that whoever did this got the joy or satisfaction out of it that they hoped for.

A Prayer

2009-02-09T11:16:00.006-06:00

Why I Love Michigan

2009-02-03T19:30:00.003-06:00

Here are some pictures from my trip back to Holland. I was absolutely kicking myself as I stood alone on the edge of the ice formations at sunset on Lake Michigan for not bringing my camera home with me. Regardless, it was amazing to get back to the water. I felt refreshed, as always, and there is just something about that lake that makes me sit in awe of God. I feel more alive there than just about any place that I know.

The first picture is of Kentucky on the drive up. The trees have a little snow on them, but the white that you see is mainly ice. The rest are Lake Michigan. Enjoy.

Life Update

2009-01-26T22:48:00.005-06:00

The past 3+ weeks have been tough, to say the least. I tried to prepare myself for this beforehand, but it's still quite difficult. I will say, the process could have been made a bit less stressful if I had allowed a week or so to move down and get situated before starting work, but it was hard enough ripping out all of my roots in Holland at the last minute, let alone in advance.

So, I instead departed with my family and Kelsey on the 3rd after what has become my tradition of staying up far too late the night before trying to get everything packed. After filling a UHaul, a Yukon, and my Buick (my parents were gracious enough to rent a UHaul and accompany me down on the trip), we left Michigan and arrived in Nashville Saturday evening. We quickly unloaded everything into the basement of the house and after a tour of the city, my family headed to their hotel for the evening. It was a long day, to say the least.

Sunday was far too short and led to a tearful goodbye with my family and especially Kelsey as we headed into a long distance relationship. For anyone who doesn't know, Kelsey is my girlfriend (we recently were able to celebrate 6 months together), she's absolutely gorgeous and pretty much amazing, and we had been rather spoiled up until that point and had been able to see each other almost every day. Things as of now are not so fortunate. I digress. This left me half of Sunday to try and unpack and get ready for work on Monday. Did I mention that I hadn't been sleeping a lot before this?

My first two weeks here consisted of working and attempting to "move in." Literally, if I was not at work, I was running errands, getting everything I needed for the house, cleaning, unpacking, organizing, or doing something related to moving in. It was a very long two weeks. By the end of it, I was quite exhausted. Thankfully, at that time Kelsey and my sister were my first visitors and made the trip down to Nashville for the weekend. Needless to say, I desperately needed that. Two weeks of work and more work, coupled with plenty of frustrations and no activity or friends, led to me really needing some sort of respite.

The weekend was far too short and felt like I was saying goodbye just after they arrived. However, after that I have had a bit more free time to actually try and adjust to life here and have finally begun to practice again and am working out regularly at the local Y. I won't sugarcoat anything, it's still quite difficult here. My heart is certainly still in Michigan. Because I've been so busy I haven't had time to try and meet people, and I'm now going into my fourth week here and still really have no connections/people to hang out with. I definitely miss my friends, my church, my girlfriend, the lake...the list goes on. In short, I miss my home. I'm hoping that as free time becomes more available I will be able to get more plugged in here and that I will start to feel more like I belong here. I suppose it's just hard going from a place where you feel that you belong, and I guess ultimately that people care, to a place where you really know nobody at all.

Anyway, I know many people were asking what was going on here, and though I do hope to be able to talk to people individually, I'm hoping that this will be a general "catch-up" until that can happen (I'm really bad with phones, but that's nothing new). If anyone is looking to pray for anything, pray for connections. I could really use a church home and to begin developing relationships here. Outside of that, I suppose that whole music thing as well.

Hopefully I'll be able to find more time to keep this updated more often, sorry it was so long before I could post this.

The Advent Conspiracy

2008-12-10T15:22:00.010-06:00

How do you celebrate Christmas? If you're anything like the average American, you probably get together with family, take time either on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning to open up gifts, go to church, and share a family meal. Maybe you still leave some cookies out on Christmas Eve for Santa (let's be honest, it's fun). But Christmas doesn't start there. Most likely it started on Black Friday. Waking up early to go get the best deals, poring over the ads the night before to find out what you want and where to get it. Fighting the lines, crowds, and pandemonium that occurs when they open the doors. If waking up early isn't your thing, chances are you still shop around all the stores, looking for those perfect gifts for the person that already has everything. It's tough, isn't it? But Christmas doesn't end on Christmas Day, either. Christmas started in the stores and it often goes full circle. After Christmas Day, all the recipients of gifts that don't fit or aren't what they wanted make the march back out to the stores and the crowds and the lines to make returns and exchanges. It all seems like a lot of work when all you're really trying to do is show someone that you care.

This year, maybe something different is in order? Rather than succumbing to the culture of consumerism, what if we chose to give things not found on store shelves? Time? Love? Words? Go out, share an experience together. Do something that will be remembered far after the shine fades from that other thing... What was it again? Do you even remember what you gave last Christmas?

This Christmas, join the Advent Conspiracy. The movement is based on the idea that Christmas can be meaningful again. America spends $450 billion dollars on Christmas. That's absurd!

$450,000,000,000!!!

I see a number like this and I don't even know what to think. It's too large for me to actually comprehend. Our greed has led us to constantly want more. To "need" the next big, cool thing. When in reality, what we need we can't buy. However, if we were to cut back on our spending and simply give away some of that money, imagine what could be done! Poverty, clean water, AIDS, providing mosquito nets to prevent malaria... Check out the video, join the cause, I beg of you. We can make a difference.

If you'd like to join the movement but want more info, check out The Advent Conspiracy.
For videos of others' stories, click here.
For ideas of what to give others that isn't found in the stores (because after years of doing this, it really is difficult to break the habit), check out Rethinking Christmas.

I Need Africa More Than Africa Needs Me

2008-12-02T10:05:00.008-06:00

It's a peculiar thing to say, especially at a time when we see the single largest pandemic the world has ever seen sweeping across and ravaging an entire continent. We see war-torn countries on the news and here more and more (though still not much when put into perspective) about the extreme poverty and sickness. When we hear the word "Africa" our minds instantly focus on all of the struggles and think of ways we can help. What we don't think is how Africa can help us.

The Mocha Club, which you have heard plenty about if you've been reading my blog for any period of time, has begun a new campaign. This campaign seems illogical at first, but to the many who have been there, we understand what they are saying. First and foremost, please do not think that they are underplaying the dire needs of this continent. Africa certainly has many needs to be addressed and desperately needs our help. However, we also desperately need them.

Upon first take, one might think that Africa has very little. The technology is far behind countries like the US, and as far as possessions, well, they're out of the question. When you can have confidence that all of your meals will be taken care of for the day, you're doing quite well in Africa. Poverty, a lack of clean water, hunger, and disease are in your face everywhere you look. But when you get a little bit below the surface, look around amidst all of the lacking, and you'll find more than you can imagine. Hope. Joy. Peace. Happiness. Relationships. Contentment. Not the things that you would expect to come from such an environment, but Africa has much to teach us about all of these. Circumstance does not dictate happiness. Relationships and love reign and provide peace and contentment rather than material possessions. We are exposed to our true lack of faith and trust when we look into the eyes of someone who has nothing, but still has joy.

These are just my thoughts... What are yours? Do you need Africa? The Mocha Club page about this new campaign explains their take on all of this, and you can check that out by clicking here. I encourage you to think about the topic and leave your thoughts. If you don't know about the Mocha Club, please check it out. I have links posted under "Things That Matter" to check it out or to join my team, and I would encourage you to do both. In the mean time, watch this video, let this idea run through your head, and please leave your thoughts.

Watchmen

2008-12-01T20:53:00.003-06:00

“Once again a message came to me from the Lord: ‘Son of man, give your people this message: ‘ ‘When I bring an army against a country, the people of that land choose one of their own to be a watchman. When the watchman sees the enemy coming, he sounds the alarm to warn the people. Then if those who hear the alarm refuse to take action, it is their own fault if they die. They heard the alarm but ignored it, so the responsibility is theirs. If they had listened to the warning, they could have saved their lives. But if they watchman sees the enemy coming and doesn’t sound the alarm to warn the people, he is responsible for their captivity. they will dies in their sins, but I will hold the watchman responsible for their deaths.’ ‘ ‘Now, son of man, I am making you a watchman for the people of Israel. therefore, listen to what I say and warn them for me. If I announce that some wicked people are sure to die and you fail to tell them to change their ways, then they will die in their sins, and I will hold you responsible for their deaths. But if you warn them to repent and they don’t repent, they will die in their sins, but you will have saved yourself.”

-Ezekiel 33:1-9, NLT

 In the same way that god has called Ezekiel to be a watchman for Israel, am I not suppose to be a watchman for those around me? When I know that their ways are leading them away from the promises and gifts God has for them, should I not plead for their lives? Am I any less accountable for their sins?

As I read this passage I became quite convinced that God still is calling me, and I believe Christians in general, to be wacthmen for our peers. As difficult as it is, we need to step up and take responsibility for not only our own failures, but also those of those around us. We love to simply wipe our hands of any problems in our neighborhoods or cities rather than assuming our share of the blame. I am very guilty of this myself. Despite my love for my friends, I fail to speak words of truth and love to them. I may live out my convictions in my own life as best I am able, but I fail to try and prevent them from going down roads that can harm them. The idea of confrontation and potentially pushing them away seems to have a far greater impact on my decisions than any eternal factors. This needs to change.

Faith

2008-11-24T13:42:00.003-06:00

"Faith is not merely a belief in ideas or concepts but a belief that moves us to action." -Ann Hagmann, Climbing the Sycamore Tree

What has your faith moved you to do?

Waves Keep Coming

2008-11-19T16:58:00.003-06:00

Fall continues to come through, and though I suppose there are plenty of other things going on in my life, this seems to be at the forefront right now. Given that I am not working a whole lot right now, I have a lot of time to surf. I went out again today and will most likely be doing the same for the next few days. Here's the upcoming marine forecast.

Thursday
North gales to 35 knots. Snow showers. Waves 10 to 14 feet.
Thursday Night
Northwest winds to 30 knots. Snow showers. Waves 8 to 12 feet.
Friday
Northwest winds to 30 knots. Snow showers. Waves 6 to 10 feet.

Is anyone else giddy? Or am I the only one who can't help but smile when he reads that?

These are pics from the Spyglass webcam (today) which overlooks the Holland piers. When there are waves like this, it's hard to say no.

The Glory of Fall?

2008-11-17T18:03:00.003-06:00

Having just been blasted with 6+ inches of snow thanks to a beautiful thing called Lake Effect, apparently Fall has heard my requests and simply decided to forward us to winter. It's a little early, but I'm certainly not complaining. Ah, the glory of Fall...

The Glory of Fall

2008-11-15T18:50:00.003-06:00

So for those who know me well, you may be a bit confused by the title of this post. I have often expressed my extreme disdain for the seasons of Fall and Spring. I know, I know, everyone else seems to find them to be quite magnificent...but I don't. Maybe it's that my birthday falls on the first day of summer, and therefore my half-birthday falls on the first day of winter. Maybe it's that I am much more comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt than in sweatshirts and jeans. Maybe it is my addiction to water (yes, snow is a form of water). I can't really pinpoint one specific reason, but for at least the more recent portion of my life I have found fall and spring to be what I described as the "purgatories," or, temporary holding periods, between the two real seasons of summer and winter. However, as of the past two falls, specifically, I am losing a bit of that edge.

Don't fret, however, for I still find the temperatures to be quite obnoxious. It's too cold for shorts and too warm for snow. But this little hobby of mine called surfing has led me to have a new appreciation for the offerings of fall. You see, in Michigan, the winds pick up in the fall. Strong winds, combined with the colder air which offers more downward pressure on the water surface, equal large waves. I've been fortunate enough to go out numerous time over the past couple weeks, with many more certainly to come before January. To give you just a little glimpse of what Lake Michigan offers, here are a couple photos. These waves are large, though not very clean. This particular day was not nearly as nice as it gets, but it will still give you a little taste of the glory of Fall on the Great Lakes.

A Welcome Change

2008-11-09T11:54:00.002-06:00

Say what you will about President Bush. Some like him, many are against. Say what you will about party lines and skepticism about President-Elect Obama. (As an independent, this election I cast my vote for Obama. This was a strange feeling for me since I would normally find myself more aligned with conservatives.) There are plenty of concerns that people have voiced that I also am anxious to see how they play out. However, after reading a few articles, I can't ignore the immediate response from around the world about the results of our elections. Having lived over seas, and in a normally America-friendly country, I understand how negatively we have been perceived up until now and am very excited to see a country that the rest of the world is excited to embrace. Check out these articles to see how other countries are reacting.

BBC Correspondents from around the globe

An AP article in The New Zealand Herald

Acceptance

2008-11-05T12:54:00.002-06:00

On a day of great importance for the country and the world, I was making a decision that will greatly alter the course of my life. Yes, I did vote (and even wrote myself in for the Laketown Township Parks Commissioner since they only had 5 of the 7 spots filled on the ballot), however that was my secondary priority yesterday. After some further discussion with trusted sources I decided to accept the job offer in Nashville.

If all goes as is currently laid out (there are plenty of scenarios that could still affect my path), I will be starting my job as a graphic designer on January 5, 2009.

Thank you so much for all who were praying for me...I know that I am blessed to have so many people in my life who were willing to go to work in prayer on my behalf, even many I am not close with. I was constantly surprised and almost overwhelmed by the number who were interested and praying for me, so once again, thank you. There are still things left to be determined, so for those who would like to continue to pray, please feel free. I will have to tackle many things in the coming months such as housing, insurance, finding a church once there, and the many other decisions I'll be making before I leave, so I would certainly appreciate your prayers. Thanks again.

A Big Decision

2008-10-29T13:34:00.003-05:00

There is currently a lot weighing on my heart. I am faced with what is the biggest decision of my life to date (outside of giving my life to Christ) and am supposed to make this decision by the end of the week. As you know, I recently visited Nashville. While there, I had an interview with a design company. This design company asked me to come back and do a sort of working interview to see if we liked working with each other. I drove back down last week Sunday and was there through Thursday working with the company and driving back to Michigan on Friday. At the end of my time there, they offered me a job. The decision I currently face is trying to figure out where I should be.

God certainly seems to have opened doors to Nashville, and I definitely liked my experience there. However, my heart doesn't seem to be there. Upon arriving back here all I could think about was how hard it would be to leave. I love this area. Even after traveling extensively, this is one of my favorite places. Maybe it's just the setting of Nashville that bothers me. It's roughly 8 hours from any body of water. Lake Michigan is 8 hours north, the Atlantic is 8 hours east, and the Gulf is 8 hours south. Having been out in the lake surfing the past 3 days, that's a little hard to swallow. I have no desire to turn my relationship into a long distance relationship. This has really been the first time in my life that I've been able to really enjoy being in close proximity with someone I'm dating, and I don't really want to lose that if I don't have to. I love my church and friends here... I suppose the bottom line is that I have a lot of my life that is rooted here.

However, none of that should prevent me from going where God wants me. I am really just trying to find peace and clarity in all of this. I want to be where He wants me, even if it's not where I would rather be. I have said for so long that I would try to pursue drums at some point, and this opportunity comes up and I get scared. I don't know if I am scared or just hesitant...I guess I'm just trying to figure out if Nashville is really where that is supposed to happen (why not San Diego, Portland, just some place with water?), but if you could please pray over this decision, I would certainly appreciate it. Pray for clarity, courage, and discernment to listen to God rather than myself. Thanks.

Nashville Recap

2008-10-15T15:54:00.007-05:00

Disclaimer: I apologize for the quality of the photos, they were all taken with my phone

The most common question I have been asked since arriving home is "How was the trip?" I suppose I don't know exactly how to answer that, but here's my best attempt. My trip to Nashville was first and foremost long. I'm not a huge fan of 9 hour car rides by myself. However, outside of that, the trip was quite enlightening. I felt like I got a very good assessment of the music scene, how it works, and the city itself.

The Parthenon in Centennial Park

While I was there, I saw a LOT of the city. I wandered through parks, went shopping, visited a couple local restaurants, spent time at Fork's Drum Closet, played ultimate, went to shows, and just relaxed. The Vanderbilt/Auburn football game was while I was there, bringing College Game Day to town, and I watched the 4th quarter from a nearby parking garage. As if that wasn't enough, the Presidential Town Hall debate was at Belmont, roughly a block from where I was staying. People and protesters gathered in masses outside of the campus. On Friday night I happened upon a poetry/lyrics/songwriting get together and found myself glued to what was happening for at least an hour. In addition to all of this, I met a lot of great people through hanging out with Josh and going to his church.

The lights on Josh's porch

As for the music aspect, I entered the trip with only a couple contacts and left with far more. I met with many drummers, a producer, and quite a few others who are involved in music in some way, talking about the various aspects of the Nashville music scene, and virtually everyone said that you simply have to do it. If you feel "the itch" or have that desire, there's no other way to find out than to just be in Nashville. The city runs on connections. Jobs are found based on who you know and how well you know them, and there's not other way to make those connections than to be out and about in the city.

Fork's Drum Closet (one of the MANY racks of snares...)

Probably the coolest and most educational part of the trip was randomly meeting Will Denton, the drummer currently touring with LeAnn Rimes. Will was especially nice and bent over backwards to give me information and for some unknown reason took a persona l interest in whether or not I end up moving to Nashville. Not only did he talk with me for roughly 45 minutes after simply meeting at Fork's Drum Closet (the best drum store I've ever seen), but he had me sit in on one of his recording sessions two days later. That 3 hour session alone was worth the trip.

I also looked into some various design studios while I was there, thinking that nothing would come of it, and by some act of God had an interview while I was there. They seemed quite interested in me, and I may even be going back next week for a freelance job (which is really for the sake of seeing if they like working with me and if it would be a good fit).

So, that's the trip in brief... Nothing has been decided yet, but I certainly am glad that I went down there. I had a lot of questions answered, found a lot more that I a m now asking, and basically am just waiting on God to show me where He wants me. The music industry/music scene in Nashville is certainly intimidating. There are plenty of players down there who can blow me out of the water, but at the same time I left the city feeling encouraged. I may not be the best out there (and won't ever be), but my dream of playing drums for a living doesn't seem quite so far off as it once did.

The smily face on a tree in front of Josh's porch

What Might or Should Have Taken Place

2008-10-13T16:45:00.003-05:00

I have just returned from a long, quite interesting trip where I ultimately lost track of time and struggled to remember what day it was. I spent most of today sleeping as I attempted to recover from my many hours of driving and lack of sleep. The time off has been greatly needed, though I haven't really even begun to process the trip. In my free time, though I most likely had many other things to accomplish, I spent some time catching up on the blogs of friends that I have not had time to read in the past few days. One of which was that of Kyle Scott, my friend who is living in Kolkata and working with Word Made Flesh. Kyle has always been someone I greatly respect. He lives a life of simplicity that I envy and often aspire to follow, has a compassion for the marginalized that always compels me, and possesses a gift to translate his thoughts to paper (or computer) in a way that allows others to find themselves on this journey with him.

As I read one of his recent posts I found myself thinking of my past weekend in Indianapolis. At the wedding Kelsey and I attended on Saturday, I overheard a couple friends talking of trying to find some tickets to the Colts home game on Sunday. I am very rarely in Indy, the Colts are my favorite team, and this would be a spontaneous, adventuresome trip that could be quite a bit of fun. Kesley and I decided to try it out, set a limit for our costs of tickets and see what happened.

I was quite skeptical of our chances, especially with our decided budget of $30 per ticket. Nonetheless, we set out on our mission. As we neared the stadium, which, by the way, is an amazing and brand new stadium complete with retractable roof and wall, we were approached by many wishing to sell tickets. As I first feared, many had tickets with a face value of over $120 and were simply not willing to accept our meager offerings. However, one man did have a pair of tickets seated together and he was willing to part with them for $35 a piece. Though the cost was more than what we had hoped, we quickly accepted the offer! I'm not quick to spend money, but given that the face value was $65 a piece, we felt quite lucky to get tickets to the game!

It was at this moment, as we were walking toward the stadium still filled with jubilation and excitement, that I found myself recalling. Tickets in hand, we walked under an overpass and there, on our left, was a man sitting just off of the sidewalk, legs crossed, and a sign in front of him that read "Homeless father of 2. Please help."

I often face these moments... Unfortunately these events happening frequently has not yet lead to any better answer or response. I felt sick at that moment, all elation quickly dissipated and was replaced with thoughts of what might or should have taken place. Did I really need to spend that money on the game? Could it have been better used? Sure, we had a great time, but why was I so blessed to be in that position? What might have happened if I sold my ticket to buy the man and his family a meal? What is going to happen now that I didn't? Where am I really supposed to be spending my money?

I wish I had an answer or remedy, but this is merely the processing of thought for me, and hopefully the instigation of thought for you...

Nashville Prayers

2008-09-29T13:44:00.004-05:00

With my current workload light and a wedding coming up on the 11th of October in Indianapolis, the time seems perfect to finally get down to Nashville and see the city. I have a friend, Josh, who is living there right now and I know that I need to take advantage of this before it's too late, so with the doors wide open as of this Wednesday (the 1st) I'll be driving down to Nashville. I'll be in Nashville until the 9th when I drive up to Marion, IN to see some friends, then going to Indianapolis for the wedding on the 11th and driving back home on the 12th.

For those who know me well, you know that music is really all I want to do with my life. It is my one passion that stands above everything else. I feel a strong calling to continue to pursue music and at some point in my life I aim to make music my occupation. If this is to happen, chances are that it won't be in West Michigan, so I have to look into places where music is prevalent; hence the trip to Nashville.

Needless to say, I could really use your prayers during this time. I have a lot of decisions facing me right now, and am really looking for guidance and direction. I am hoping that this trip will be fruitful; that I will be able to get a good feel for the city and the music scene, that I might make valuable connections, and that I will leave with a better idea of where I am supposed to be right now. If you could pray for God's blessing on the trip, safe and ticket-free travel, making the right connections, and clarity I would greatly appreciate it. God has really been stressing to me recently the power and importance of prayer, so I hope you all know that this is not a last resort, but the first. Before anything happens, I hope to have the trip covered in prayer, because I truly believe that is the most powerful thing we can do and is how God works. Thanks so much, and I look forward to updating you when I get back!

Living Beyond Oursleves pt. 5

2008-09-10T12:44:00.006-05:00

This is the single hardest thing I'll ever do. It demands more of me than I could possibly give, and the pursuit of it will last a lifetime. The thought of it is absolutely baffling to me, and I cannot even conceive of what this truly looks like.

Unconditional love.

If there is anything that is considered living beyond myself, it has to be this. It is the quintessential mark of a life lived with an others focus, a selfless heart, and a servant's mentality.

The problem with this concept is that we hear it so often; it has lost it's shock factor. When we hear this phrase it should put a lump in our throats. Take just a second and break down the words.

UN-conditional.

Without conditions.

Having no limits.

A love that chooses to love no matter what has just happened or who you are. Whether I've just been hurt, betrayed, or slandered. If my pride lies and tells me that I am better than you. If I've already forgiven you 1,000 times and there is no end to the offences in sight. When I simply don't want to. When it hurts.

This love is the unfathomable love that God has for us. This is the same love that we are called to have for others. Without conditions. Having no limitations. This is the single hardest thing I will ever pursue.

Living Beyond Ourselves pt. 4

2008-08-16T20:28:00.002-05:00

I'm back with another way to keep yourself "others-focused" with your giving. Today I going to be highlighting missionaries. Some of you just checked out or decided that you didn't want to read the rest of this, but I would encourage you to rethink your mindset.

A missionary can be just about anything, and to be honest, we all should be missionaries in our daily lives. However, beyond the semantics, the core of this post is dedicated to those who are specifically devoting years of their lives, often in other countries or cultures, to helping people find Christ as their Savior. With that established, I actually have two very good friends who are currently in that process.

The first is Brent Dongell. Brent is the man who shared my New Zealand travels with me, who put up with all of my shenanigans, and taught me a lot of about pursuing God (and also how to surf). After returning to the states, Brent felt called to go back to New Zealand, and he is going to return shortly to be a Community Life Pastor at Cession Community Church in South Auckland. Cession is a church that is fairly young in terms of age of attendees, which is fairly rare in the Wesleyan church there, and Brent will be working with young adults and trying to reach out to that specific age group as it is very unchurched in New Zealand.

Having been over there with Brent, seen his heart firsthand, and having known him for years, I fully support his return, I am seriously excited to see what God is going to do through him over there, and I would fully recommend any support (prayer or financial) that you could give. Brent is returning through Global Partners, and for more info on what he is doing, check out these links:

http://brentdongell.blogspot.com/
http://www.brentdongellnz.blogspot.com/
http://brentdongellnz.blogspot.com/2008/02/how-to-support-me.html

The second friend of mine is Kyle Scott. Kyle was originally going to go to New Zealand with me. Well, I suppose it was England back in those stages of planning, but regardless, Kyle was my original travel partner until he felt God calling him elsewhere. Kyle instead stayed home, and then did a four month stint in India with Word Made Flesh. After returning, Kyle decided to go back and is currently in India serving with an organization called Sari Bari. This organization helps to bring women out of the sex trade and gives them a means of income that doesn't degrade them. I certainly cannot describe the work that Kyle is doing or the people who he works with in a way that even begins to do it justice, so for more info on Kyle, check out his blog and read it in his own words.

Both Global Partners and Word Made Flesh are organizations that I really trust, just as I trust Brent and Kyle. Word Made Flesh is all over the world, mainly attempting to spend time with and love the marginalized people of the world. I have talked with Chris Huertz (from Word Made Flesh) and heard him speak and I can tell you that they are doing great work and certainly are worth supporting as they help bring God's Kingdom to earth.

If you would like to support Kyle specifically, I know your gifts would be appreciated (though he would be bashful to admit it). It is a little more complicated than some, and you have to go the the Word Made Flesh website, click on support, then there is a document for you to download and send to the office in Omaha. Hopefully this won't stop you from supporting a great cause. I know that God is actively at work in all of these areas, so let's join what He is doing!

An Endangered Freedom

2008-08-13T11:34:00.003-05:00

Most things that we love to do also come with some sort of risk. Whether it be an extreme sport, a normal sport, or everyday tasks such as driving a car, there is almost always a risk involved. Unfortunately, some activities get more negative attention than others and, regardless of the fairness, people try to revoke certain privileges. Such is the case with pier jumping in the Great Lakes.

Currently, as a result of the drownings and accidental deaths in the water, many townships are attempting to ban pier jumping, a favorite pastime of many in the area. They cite certain statistics and numbers, trying to pin the responsibility on the ignorance of those jumping off of a pier, when in reality a very low percentage of those deaths or injuries are related to the act. Many of the tragedies result from swimmers not understanding rip currents and under tows or people who cannot swim being swept off of pier in rough conditions.

I completely understand that the Lakes can be deadly. That is part of what I love about water. We can't control it, and when we're using it, we're essentially at its mercy. The part that grieves me is that people would try to take this joy away from everybody simply because some have suffered loss. Those of us who understand the risks and choose to willingly participate should not be punished. Surfers, who often jump off of the piers to bypass a long paddle out to waves, are even more unjustly punished given that we have a floatation device physically attached to us.

Park Township, the location of Holland State Park and the pier, is currently going to vote on this issue of pier jumping. I am disheartened that we are even considering this measure, since I fully believe people should be free to make their own decisions. If something is to be done, let's educate people on the lakes, rips, and dangers. Get them involved in swimming lessons. Anything to promote safety and good decision making. But please, keep the freedom to use the water.

If any of you are of a similar mindset and would like to preserve our freedom of pier jumping, please show up to the meeting at the Park Township office tomorrow night (Thursday, August 14) at 5:30. For more information, follow this link to the Third Coast Surf Shop forum and click on the "Lakes Michigan and Superior" link and then the "Holland State Park pier jumping vote" link. Brian is a fellow surfer and has provided plenty of info there. Hopefully we'll see you out there tomorrow!

Living Beyond Ourselves pt. 3

2008-07-12T16:11:00.004-05:00

I'm back again with ways to make a difference with your finances. I say that because in sitting down to write this post I realized that "living beyond ourselves" involves much more than money, though I have focused on that specific aspect. In reality it involves all aspects of our lives; our time, money, relationships, words, activities, etc. It means being intentional about making a difference in the lives of others; fighting hard and getting dirty with the junk in their lives. I firmly believe that our lives are not meant to be clean, pristine, and free of dirt. We all have our areas of struggle, and to try and bring God's Kingdom to earth, it requires us to lay down our pride and deal with all of the dirty, messy issues in our own and others lives. It is only by getting dirty that we can move toward being clean.

All tangents aside, I want to highlight World Hope International as a great organization that is actively trying to bring God's Kingdom to earth by helping the poor and marginalized around the globe. They have many different avenues of impact including education, micro-finance, anti-trafficking, HIV/AIDS, child sponsorship, rural development, providing clean water, and more. If all of these options lead you to wonder how you can possibly figure out where to donate your money or resources, they make all of that simple by giving you the ability to contribute to the "greatest need".

This post will not be too lengthy as I would encourage you all to simply check out the website versus relying on my information. I have traveled to Zambia through World Hope, seen the work that they are doing firsthand, and contributed financially. Jo Anne Lyon, the director, recently became a General Superintendent of the Wesleyan Denomination, and I cannot say enough about her heart and desire to bring change. I love the work they are doing, and I will continue to support them. Hopefully you will as well. Check out their site HERE.

Finding God in the Storm

2008-06-16T14:27:00.004-05:00

The past few weeks have been filled with more rain and storms than I ever remember experiencing. Having experienced the weather first-hand, I can understand why the ancient civilizations worshiped the gods who controlled the climate. To experience the conditions that came through without the technology and knowledge that we have to monitor and predict weather would be terrifying. However, we do have the technology, and this leaves me the room to know that weather is weather, not necessarily the wrath of a deity unknown to me, and to enjoy the circumstances appropriately.

To be terse, I LOVE STORMS! There is something so fascinating and awesome about the power of weather. Weather is one the few mysteries still out there; something we can't fully explain, predict, or control. Though the storms definitely left trails of devastation, I still can't help but enjoy them. Side note: Living near a major body of water is a huge perk to enjoying storms. There are few things I enjoy more than watching a storm roll in over the water.

Last weekend (the 6th-8th), I had the privilege of sharing these experiences with a couple close friends who had driven up from Indiana. Saturday evening, as a front was about to roll in, we quickly threw on bathing suits after dinner and made our way to the beach to see if we could watch the storms come in over the lake, however arrived slightly too late. By the time we arrived it was already raining, but we decided to head out anyway. The temperatures were quite high, and the warm rain was absolutely a blast to play in. Later that night, as a part of the same storm system, we were out again in my driveway and the middle of the street, watching the clouds and lighting all around us. I don't think I have ever seen such consistent lighting for such a long period of time. There was lighting what seemed like every second for hours. The quote of the night was the random caller to the TV station who described the storm by saying, "It's like there's some sadistic wizard throwing lighting bolts down." Oh yeah, that's a quote.

Despite the debatable sanity of some in the area, the storm truly was amazing. Clouds circled overhead and the winds blew in different directions. The high clouds moved in from the west while the low level clouds blitzed across the sky from the east. Temperatures fluctuated by double digits, and only a few miles inland from my house, tennis ball sized hail rained down. I simply found myself in awe of the whole night; my eyes fixed upwards, at least as much as is possible while rain is coming down.

The next day another front came through, and again we headed out to the beach to watch. We made it to the very top of the highest dune in the area and stood above the dune grass, looking out over the water as if a part of a movie. I unfortunately have no pictures (my camera would have been drenched), but the scenes of that afternoon will stay with me for quite some time. If you need any reference for what we may have experienced, simply check out War of the Worlds or Independence Day, because it may as well have been a clip from either of those films.

The panoramic from the top of the dune went a little something like this:

If we turned our backs to the water and faced east, the canopy of treetops looked like a tropical jungle from all of the rain the night before. There was a haze over the tops of the trees as they approached the horizon, and right under them they were a brilliant green. The southeastern sky, though mid afternoon, took on a bright yellow glow, the kind you might expect of a sunset. As we turned south, the sky slowly faded to a gray as we looked down the coast, and turning east we looked upon the ominous black cloud approaching. The large area of darkness spanned the water with a single light gray arm of clouds in front of it that was shaped like ribs or a spine. This arm was on a plane and slowly "opened up" as it neared, going from and angle of 70 degrees down to 15 in an eerily mechanical fashion. The whole time, the entire system was rotating and moving at an alarming speed. We simply imagined there was some from of alien ship about to appear out of the darkness that was overcoming us.

There we stood, with a moderate south wind on a dune looking over a coastline as the storm approached. A wall of wind abruptly hit us from the west, probably in the 50 mph range and the temperature dropped ten to fifteen degrees. The sand from the dune was being shot into our faces and small rain drops began to fall. As we ducked down to take cover from the sand we saw that the drops never made it to the ground, because the wind that was howling over the dune shot them up over the top. When we looked back to the east the drops caught the light from the bright yellow sky behind us and they shot past us as if we were under gunfire. As the storm fully engulfed us, lighting began to strike to the north and the rain turned from small droplets into a heavy downpour and we made our run down the dune through the stinging raindrops to the stairway and back to the car. I arrived at the car soaking wet, though only in rain for a couple minutes, and left in awe of the power of my Creator.

I know most of you are thinking these may not have been the best decisions ever made, but I'll make the argument that to understand the power and capability of something, you have to experience it, and it's tough to experience the weather from inside. The difference would be something similar to watching a video of a roller-coaster versus riding it. All this to say that though many people are still reeling from the aftermath of these storms, I hope that some people may also see the power of our Creator and take comfort in the fact that the God who created the earth and the storms is the same God who is in love with us.

Living Beyond Ourselves pt. 2

2008-06-02T19:48:00.004-05:00

I've grown up in a society where we take things for granted. I've never known hunger, though I've said that I am starving. I've always had more at my disposal than the vast majority of the world, though I've frequently said I'm poor. I've done and seen more in my life than many ever will, though my thirst for new experiences seems unquenchable.

We hear of so many of the problems facing the "rest of the world" as we separate ourselves from them as if to say they are not like us. I suppose there is some truth to that, given that we are one of the wealthiest civilizations to ever exist, but the reality is that they are still our neighbors; still human, just like us. Having been to Africa, I would like to think that I understand the circumstances and troubles that others are going through, though I know that the issues and trials extend far beyond what I will ever comprehend. Even so, there is something that is so fundamental, so simple, at the core of many of the problems. Something we consume daily and if you're like me, you probably never once are thankful for it.

Clean water.

If you are looking for a place to give, a place that you can trust and know that the work they are doing is truly benefiting people, Blood:Water Mission is certainly that type of organization. Started by Jars of Clay front man Dan Hasseltine, the organization aims to provide "blood free of the HIV virus and water free of parasites and bacteria that cause AIDS patients and others undue suffering."

I've been to Africa, and I know I haven't seen the entirety of the suffering, but I know that I did see people without clean water. I saw the dirty, infected streams where they bathed and washed their clothes, and I saw just how far they had to walk to reach a well. One of Blood:Water Mission's big campaigns right now is the 1000 wells project, and as of right now, they're just over 1/3 of the way there at 340. In 2007, there were 244 US campaigns and events supporting BWM, 4000 individual donors (one of whom was me), and 256,100 people benefited. They've provided over 244 villages with hygiene training and are working in 10 different countries in Africa.

I'd highly encourage you all to check out the site if you're interested, they're a great organization who I have supported in the past and will continue to support in the future, and hopefully you'll join me in the effort to live beyond ourselves and support our neighbors around the world.

Living Beyond Ourselves pt. 1

2008-05-21T17:05:00.006-05:00

It's been quite a while since I've posted. Essentially, my life has shifted again. I've gone from being in two bands and being quite busy between the two to both ending and now I'm simply swamped with work. I suppose it could be worse. Regardless, this will be a quick post, hopefully with a more detailed update on me coming soon. for now, I want to start promoting some organizations I've supported and really believe in -- these people are making a difference in the world.

The main reason I'm posting now is to give you guys another opportunity to join the Mocha Club. If you've read my blog before, you've probably seen it. The concept is simple. Two coffees a month is roughly $7, and that $7 can do leaps and bounds more in Africa than it can in coffee. It provides food, education, clean water; it provides a chance for LIFE. The last time I checked, life ranked slightly above coffee on the scale of importance, but that was a couple months ago...

Anyway, it's easy, they bill your credit card monthly, you don't have to remember to give or write a check, and most importantly, you can help make a difference. I truly believe that we are all called to live for things greater than ourselves, and this is just one of the many ways to do that. If you're interested, CLICK HERE to check it out. You can sign up under my team (which benefits me in no way shape or form) or start your own. I don't care, as long as you sign up!

Revisiting the Revolution (pt. 3)

2008-02-26T18:03:00.003-06:00

Here it is. The final installment. And some of the more challenging and controversial things that one will encounter in the book. These are things that I can't make leave my head; a burden I've found that I share with a select few. They will not have the same impact on everyone, but read them with an open heart, read them with no bias, and see if God leaves you with the same burden that he has left with me.

“Jesus never says to the poor, ‘Come and find the church, but he says to those of us in the church, ‘Go into the world and fine the poor, hungry, homeless, imprisoned,’ Jesus in his disguises.”
-Tony Campolo

We narrowed our vision to this; love God, love people, and follow Jesus.

True generosity is measured not by how much we give away, but by how much we have left, especially when we look at the needs of our neighbors.

So there goes Jesus turning power on its head again. His power was not in crushing but being crushed.

Our big visions for multiculturalism and reconciliation will make their way into the church only when they are first lived out in real relationship, out of our homes and around our dinner tables and and in our living rooms.

When we have new eyes, we can look into the eyes of those we don’t even like and see the One we love.

Over and over, the dying and the lepers would whisper the word namaste in my ear. We really don’t have a word like it in English (or even much of a Western conception of it). They explained to me that namaste means “I honor the Holy One who live in you.” I knew I could see God in their eyes. Was it possible that I was becoming a Christian, that in my eyes they could catch a glimpse of the image of my Lover?

If you have the gift of frustration and the deep sense that the world is a mess, thank God for that; not everyone has that gift of vision. It also means that you have a responsibility to lead us in new ways. Recognizing that something is wrong is the first step toward changing the world. So for those of us who have nearly given up on the church, may we take comfort in the words of St. Augustine; “The Church is a whore, but she’s my mother.”

And the ones that as a country, well, we struggle with the most:

We have no right not to be charitable.

The early Christians said that if a child starves while a Christian has extra food, then the Christian is guilty of murder.

The early prophets would say that a church that spends millions of dollars on buildings while her children are starving is guilty of murder.

“When someone strips a man of his clothes, we call him a thief. And one who might clothe the naked and does not -- should not he be given the same name? The bread in your cupboard belongs to the hungry; the coat in your wardrobe belongs to the naked; the shoes you let rot belong to the barefoot; the money in your vaults belongs to the destitute.”
-Basil the Great

Revisiting the Revolution (pt. 2)

2008-02-15T00:40:00.003-06:00

I hope not to anger or offend anyone with the words that follow, for they are not even my own. I simply hope to provoke thought, just as these words did for me when I read them. So, as I said, here is part 2 of Revisiting the Revolution (there will be one last section, but probably after the weekend). These were passages that stuck out to me as I read them, and since they have been on my mind quite a bit recently, I thought I would share them with you. Enjoy.

Most good things have been said far too many times and just need to be lived.

To this day, I have a certain respect for those religious fanatics who stand on street corners. At least they have a sense of urgency and passion and live as if what they are saying is true.

I learned about John Wesley, who said that if they didn’t kick him out of town after he spoke, he wondered if he had really preached the gospel. I remember Wesley’s old saying, “If I should die with more than ten pounds, may every man call me a liar and a thief,” for he would have betrayed the gospel.

We were not interested in a Christianity that offered these families only mansions and streets of gold in heaven when all they wanted was a bed for their kids now. And many Christians had an extra one.

We do indeed have a God of resurrection, a God who can create beauty from the messes we make of our world.

“We are called not to be successful but to be faithful.”
-Mother Teresa

“Calcuttas are everywhere if only we had eyes to see. Find your Calcutta.”
-Mother Teresa

I’m convinced that God did not mess up and make too many people and not enough stuff. Poverty was created not by God but by you and me, because we have not learned to love our neighbors as ourselves.

The gospel is good news for sick people and disturbing for those who think they’ve got it all together.

Revisiting the Revolution (pt. 1)

2008-02-10T21:08:00.000-06:00

To any of you who have not read Shane Claiborne's The Irresistible Revolution, I highly recommend that you check it out. I spent last night reading some passages that I highlighted the first time through and thought I would share some of them with you. There are a few, so there will have to be a couple installments.

I am alone, surrounded by unbelieving activists and inactive believers. Where are the true Christians?

Like a lot of folks, I wanted to find a job where I could do as little work as possible for as much money as possible. ... Then I could buy lots of stuff I didn’t need. Mmm...the American dream.

I found that I was just as likely to meet God in the sewers of the ghetto as in the halls of academia. I learned more about God from the tears of homeless mothers than any systematic theology ever taught me.

We can admire and worship Jesus without doing what He did. We can applaud what He preached and stood for without caring about the same things. We can adore His cross without taking up ours. I had come to see that the great tragedy in the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor but that rich Christians do not know the poor.

For Jesus did not seek out the rich and powerful in order to trickle down his kingdom. Rather, he joined those at the bottom, the outcasts and undesirables, and everyone was attracted to his love for people on the margins.

“Love is a harsh and dreadful thing to ask of us, but it is the only answer.” (Dorothy Day) This love is not sentimental but heart-wrenching, the most difficult and the most beautiful thing in the world.

It is much more comfortable to depersonalize the poor so we don’t feel responsible for the catastrophic human failure that results in someone sleeping on the street while people have spare bedrooms in their homes.

After all, what is crazier: one person owning the same amount of money as the combined economies of twenty-three countries, or suggesting that if we shared, there would be enough for everyone? What is crazier; spending billions of dollars on a defense shield, or suggesting that we share our billions of dollars so we don’t need a defense shield? What is crazier: maintaining arms contracts with 154 countries while asking the world to disarm its weapons of mass destruction, or suggesting that we lead the world in disarmament by refusing to deal weapons with over half the world and by emptying the world’s largest stockpile here at home? What crazy is that the US, less than 6 percent on the world’s population, consumes over half the world’s resources, and that the average American consumes as much as 520 Ethiopians do, while obesity is declared a “national health crisis.”

That's all for now, there will be more to ponder soon.

All the Hype

2008-02-07T00:04:00.000-06:00

For those wondering what all the hype and mystery on the blog recently is all about...well, I won't keep you in suspense any longer. I'm sure you were all checking back daily to see if I had posted anything new... Okay, so that isn't true, given the numbers for how many people visit my blog. Maybe you're all just smart and use RSS feeds to let you know if I've posted anything new. Who knows. Back to the point.

I mentioned some time ago that there were potential big things happening. Well, there still isn't anything finite, but things are progressing and at least to the point where I will share them with you. Over the past couple months I have been playing with a musician named Jamin Dunn. The connection was pretty random, happening through Ian Sage, a fellow worship band member at Engedi. He has been playing with Jamin for a while and it just worked out for me to sit in on a couple rehearsals of theirs, and fortunately Jamin liked what I was playing.

Jamin is signed to Fifty-Fifty Records in Grand Haven, and after some changes in their company they are back on their feet and things are moving forward with Jamin. This means that within the very near future, Jamin could be recording an album, doing a bit of touring, and employing a full band to play with him. Well, if all goes according to plan, I would be one of those band members who is employed full time just to practice/play/tour with Jamin. For anyone who knows me...this is a pretty darn big deal! Anyway, we have a few shows coming up in the Grand Rapids area, the one that I am heavily promoting is coming up on February 21 at Billy's in East GR. We're doing a split show with two other Grand Rapids bands, all three acts doing a one hour set. I'd love to see you all there, it should be a really good time! For more info, check out the facebook event site.

(and for those wondering, yes, I made the poster, and I should have my personal design website up soon, so you can be watching for that as well)

Justice is Served

2008-02-04T12:14:00.000-06:00

Last night, millions of people in America and all over the world witnessed an amazing football game. Even for someone who may have only watched that game and knew nothing of what was riding on the final score, the history* at stake, all I can say is wow. This game had some of the best intensity and suspense I've seen in quite some time.

As for what was at stake, well, there was a lot to play for. Though all the teams I would normally root for lost (Colts, sentimentally rooting for Favre), I had a different team to root for this year. That team was whoever is playing the Patriots. After all that has happened this year with the cheating scandal (Spygate) and all the new information that continues to come out, I cannot morally root for a team like the Patriots.

I took a little more time to research the extent of the Patriots cheating, and it goes far beyond simply videotaping. Not only did they videotape the Jets play calls in the first game this year, they've been doing that for quite some time. They did it last year against the Lions (though they didn't have the common sense to recognize it and report it), the same man was escorted out of Lambeau field last year when they played the Packers, since the Packers had been warned to watch out for that sort of thing.

There were also reports this year of having an extra radio signal coming to their sideline in that game against the Jets, that signal being he Jets play calls. That however, after the NFL fined the Pats for the videotapes, was never actually looked into and merely swept under the rug. The NFL also destroyed all of the video evidence of the cheating quickly after fining them. Why? And why simply slap a meager fine on an NFL team for CHEATING... Make that game a disqualification, just like they never showed up, and ban them from the postseason. Without the stats from that game, the records Brady and Moss set would no longer be theirs. In the NCAA, if someone is caught cheating, they suspend the team from the postseason for multiple years, and in the NFL you just fine the coach a pathetic 12% of his salary? Do something that might actually make them think about the cost of cheating...

There are also multiple reports of teams that have gone into Foxborough to play the Patriots and come with a good offensive game plan. They began to put together some successful offensive drives and then suddenly their radio communication cut out. Hmm...how convenient. Needless to say, a couple plays without any radio communication can throw a team off, at least enough to end that drive. And to put the icing on the cake, just this week, a former video assistant for the Patriots made a public statement that he has potentially embarrassing evidence against the Patriots, and that if the NFL were actually looking into the whole situation and properly doing their Spygate homework, someone would have talked to him, but nobody has come his way with any questions.

For links to read the stories yourself, check these out. Outside of that, all of the drama this season, everything that makes me despise the Patriots entire organization will still remain until it is fully looked into and punished by the NFL (though it may never happen), but for now, justice is finally served.

SI's article on the extent of Pat's cheating

ESPN interview with former video assitant

EPSN article on Pat's punishment

ESPN article on Pat's scandal

Miracles

2008-02-01T10:20:00.001-06:00

Though many hold differing vantage points on the topic of miracles, I will simply say this. I fully believe that God divinely interacts with our world, and every time He does, I consider it a miracle. Some miracles may seem to be on a much grander scale than others, but this is probably just a matter of how out of the ordinary they are (meaning how much we pay attention to them or not). Sometimes it could be just God's provision, like bringing in a paycheck in some way shape or form right when you need it most, which can easily be attributed to coincidence or ourselves (though I'm still trying to figure out how I manage to claim that I do so much on my own...), and other instances are much more inexplicable. I experienced the latter just recently.

For those of you who live close or interact with me on a daily basis, you are probably aware that my car has been giving me problems recently. Among the myriad of quirks it has, one of the bigger ones has been that the fan motor works very sporadically and very seldomly. This isn't to big of a deal for me, some of the passengers in my vehicle aren't huge supporters of the concept, but I don't mind being a little cooler in my car than normal. Heat still reaches me eventually, it just only circulates through the car when I am driving 50 plus. The main issue with this is that it is the dead of winter. On days when it's in the single digits, well, I'm pretty cold. I also virtually can't see out my window since I have no means of defrosting it.

Prior to Tuesday, my fan motor had been working for maybe, maybe 3% of the time the car was running. Those glorious moments lasted roughly ten seconds, and then it would return to it's hibernating state. Tuesday night started out warm. We had a big thaw here and it was probably 45 degrees around 7 pm as I began my trip to Hudsonville. It was lightly raining at the time but the forecast was for a big freeze and snow storm to move in by midnight. Well, they weren't joking. A massive, awesome, beautiful storm (I love snowstorms...and snow) with 50 mph winds had been doing it's thang for a couple hours by the time I was leaving Hudsonville at ten to Midnight.

My car was completely frozen over, and the conditions were the absolute worst I have ever seen as far as driving is concerned. The trip back to Holland, normally taking 25 minutes, took over an hour and a half. I was driving 15 mph and sometimes slower on the highway, unfortunately at the front of the line of cars, and had virtually no idea where the road was. Everything was covered in snow, and visibility in it's good moments was twenty feet in front of your vehicle. At times I visibility was reduced to zero as wall of wind-driven snow encompassed and passed my car. However, despite all of this, I wouldn't have even reached the highway had my fan motor not turned on the second I started my car and remained on for the duration of the trip home. It didn't work on the way there in warm weather (I was speculating the cold may have had something to do with its lack of funcitioning), and it didn't work when I started my car the next day, but for that trip and that trip only, the worst driving conditions I've ever seen, God decided that I probably wasn't going to make it home if I couldn't see out my window. Some may call it coincidence, I call it a miracle.

Here are some pictures of the snow we've had here recently. You can't really tell, but there was about 20" on the ground, and man was it fun to jump in.

New Year, New Look

2008-01-14T00:53:00.000-06:00

The new year has come, and suddenly half of January is already past. I don't quite know where the time has gone. I finally took the time to customize the blog a little bit and give it a bit more of a personal feel; something I had been wanting to do for quite a while.

I also have a top New Zealand photos album up on my Flickr, you should check it out if you want to see the edited versions of the pictures I took while over there. Also, there should be some Australia pictures being posted there soon.

As for life, well, things are still constantly shifting. I am not working much for b2 creative right now due to a slow period and am relying more on freelance work for an income. This has led to a lot of wondering as to where the money will come from, but God continues to provide. I am constantly amazed by His providence and by my continued lack of faith. He has me on a path right now where I am simply following what He opens up for me, and I honestly have no idea where it will go next or when that will be.

This past weekend I was privileged to stand in the wedding of one of my good friends, and I have to say, the wedding was a blast. For anyone thinking of places to have receptions, I recommend children's museums, they're fantastic. Even without that, I know that the two people who were taking vows absolutely adore each other, are following God where He leads, and have Christ at the center of their relationship. Combine that with great family and a lot of dancing (and don't forget the kid's toys and activities) and it was just one big celebration/party. Phil and Tammi, congratulations, I truly am eager to see what God has in store for you.

That's my brief life update for now, and for those of you still holding out on the big news mentioned in the last post, well, keep holding. I promise I'll fill in the details when I know them. Though I don't have anything concrete right now, here's what I do have. I will have some sort of info/answer within two weeks.

Pipe Dreams vs. Reality

2007-12-09T18:27:00.001-06:00

Over the past months I've often referred to my current state of life as a "massive time of transition"...but I didn't know to what or where. There has been an unsettled feeling, an everpresent tension, since I've returned from New Zealand. Jobs, housing, location, friends, relationships, almost all areas of my life have just been "up in the air" and I just have had to sit and wait for answers, which has actually been quite difficult.

The resolution that I so badly longed for is at least seeming within reach. Over the next weeks, and specifically the next couple days, I will be finding out quite a bit of information that will greatly determine where and how my coming months (maybe years) are spent. Things that many may have called pipe dreams may come to fruition. I don't want to go into too much detail since much is still to be decided, but if you get the chance, I would love any prayer regarding these situations and decisions (jobs/housing/relationships specifically). Thanks so much, and hopefully I'll be able to fill in the gaps with exciting news sometime soon.

Pride and Sin

2007-12-07T11:41:00.000-06:00

Temperatures have dropped and the snow is falling, which means it's a perfect time for me to spend my time before going to bed in my parents' hot tub. It a place where I get to mull over all of the thoughts I don't give enough time during the day, and something I'm trying to take advantage of as much as possible before I move out.

Over the past week or so the thought of pride has been on my mind. Pride has a tendency to run our daily lives, but when I think about it on a deeper level, it's actually quite amusing. I have been raised to believe, from both parents and culture, that I can do whatever I set my mind to. I have to believe God just laughs every time someone says this. He has given me life, breath, and every bit of strength, intelligence, or wisdom that I have. Without Him, I can do nothing. So every now and then I just have to laugh at my plans, my ideas, my feelings that, "I did it" after I accomplish something. Or even my worry about how people will respond or how a situation will play out. I simply obey, God takes care of the rest. I don't control hearts or minds, I can't impact those. That's His work.

My other revelation of last night is the reality of sin. I think I too often associate sin with black and white rules. As people we so badly want something concrete, something black and white, to hold on to that we apply those principles to sin. Not to say that there are not certain concretes with sin, because there certainly are. Let me explain.

In my mind, a "sin" is has always been an action that is inherently wrong. It is something detestable in the eyes of God. But there are always the gray areas... Is (fill in the blank) really wrong? Well, maybe not. Gasp! Did he just say a sin might not be wrong?! I have come to believe that sin isn't always inherently bad. We simply don't properly understand what has been labeled sin. Rather than viewing every sin as a detestable act, we should realize that sin is simply something that is not the absolute best that God has in store for us. For example, is it inherently wrong to kiss someone you aren't dating (also known as the random make out)? You can make arguments that it is selfish, it allows room for lust, etc., but all arguments aside, it simply isn't the best plan for our greatest joy. God has prepared and made available a way that will provide us with more joy that that ever could. Is it inherently wrong to drink alcohol regularly? To get a "feel good" buzz frequently and approach the line of being drunk? No, I truly don't think so, but once again, I think God has a greater joy in store than a buzz from alcohol could ever give me.

Rather than looking at sin as a set of rules, things I have to give up, sacrifices I have to make in order to follow Christ, I instead need a mindset shift. The "rules" that have been set up allow me to experience the most joy possible. I am gaining, not sacrificing, in my obedience to God's way of life. Sin is settling for less than what God has planned; robbing us of greater pleasures. It's really difficult, because I struggle so greatly with seeing beyond the present. My lack of planning tendencies makes me live in the here and now, which for the most part is good. I make the best of where I am, but in these crossroads, where I have to choose between gratification now and ultimate gratification later...I could use a little help.

God, give me the foresight, wisdom, and discipline to choose Your joy rather than what I think will make me happy. Help me to trust Your power and planning more than my own abilities.

Halloween

2007-11-01T21:32:00.000-05:00

I love Halloween.

Call me crazy, but I do. I guess it all spawns from the fact that I am a little kid at heart. For anyone who knows me, that is probably one of the first things you noticed. I am commonly referred to as a 12 yr. old, and to be honest, I am perfectly okay with that. (It just means that I have more fun than them and they're jealous.) Thus, as Halloween approached, I started getting excited. If you ask me, Halloween is one of the best holidays. Halloween means picking out pumpkins, carving pumpkins, going to haunted corn mazes and haunted houses, an excuse to wear costumes, and a whole lot of candy. How can you beat that?

This year, however, I encountered a couple of nay-sayers after sharing my excitement for the holiday. The negative votes came for reasons of the day being an occult/satanic holiday. Well, I suppose some people may choose to practice those things on this day, but I don't see why that has to ruin the fun for everyone. Maybe I am being ignorant, but I don't think that they would stop these practices if everyone else stopped dressing up and stopped trick-or-treating.

This brings me to the other opposition. I may be 23, but it's still a blast to get out there, IN COSTUME, and go door to door to get obscene amounts of candy. My eyes light up when people are handing out full size candy bars (not to say that other candy is of lesser importance, it's just how I react). Some people I talked to before this Halloween weren't okay with older people going out, after all, "It's for the little kids." Well, I still went, I still had a blast, and I didn't encounter a single little kid who was upset with us. In fact, they all rather liked our costumes.

This year, Brent Dongell came down late in the afternoon to surf, and after that, we simply stayed in our wetsuits, went to a grocery store to get plastic bags, walked door to door with surfboards in hand, and called out, "Trick or treat, dudes!" in our best Crush (from Finding Nemo) voices. I have never gotten so many comments on a costume. In fact, the boards were our saving grace at a couple houses where the owners may not have given us candy. The line, "Wow, you guys deserve candy for carrying those things around" was something we heard more than once.

So, despite the slight opposition, I still love Halloween. For those who are offended by this...I apologize. Maybe you should come trick-or-treating with me next year ;). Either way, I simply thought I would share my thoughts on Halloween. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a pumpkin to carve (better late than never).

*Last year's pumpkin

Recent Scripture

2007-10-23T21:47:00.000-05:00

I've been doing quite a bit of Bible reading in the past couple days. I wish that this was simply my habit and passion, but well, I am doing it because God told me to. I've been busy recently. I have been injured. I have many things that I want to do. Amidst all of that, God told me that I need to slow down. I had been getting this message for a while, but apparently I didn't really respond in the way He wanted. Thus, He felt the need to elaborate. He wants me to have a week of solitude/time with Him. I wasn't sure what this meant, but He cleared all that up by distinctly impressing on me that I should be spending at least an hour a day reading/waiting on Him. To come full circle, I have been doing a lot of reading.

I'm still attempting to finish the One Year Bible, though I am on the two year track, and it provides an Old Testament passage, and New Testament passage, a Psalm, and a short section of Proverbs for each day. I don't know why, but I felt like sharing my two recent favorites.

Jeremiah 5:25 - "Your wickedness has deprived you of all these wonderful blessings. Your sin has robbed you of all these good things."

How often do I forget that sin is not just an obedience/screwing up thing, but it is me preventing God from bestowing on me the blessings that He has.

Colossians 3:11 - "In this new life, it doesn't matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us."

*both verses in the NLT

The Mocha Club

2007-10-09T20:12:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a while since I have posted about this, so I will once again throw this out there. I've been involved for quite a while now, and would love to see some more people join. If you have forgotten, here's the deal. As an American, we live in riches that most of the world will never know. We have far more than we could ever need (but sadly, not more than most of us might want or dream of). I firmly believe that there is enough for everyone in this world, if only we can learn to live in a manner that puts others at the same level of importance as ourselves (it's pretty Biblical, check it out). I know that I don't always put others first, and struggle to think of someone else's need before my own, but I'm trying. That's why I joined Mocha Club.

It's $7. That's it. Think of it as two drinks at a coffee shop, one movie at a theatre, one or two days of not going out for lunch or dinner, a couple pack of gum... I don't know what your weakness is, but the bottom line is that we have to give up very little to make a big difference in others' lives. Check out the numbers.

We can make a phenomenal difference for so little. Please, take the time to check it out. Don't finish reading and simply move on to the next blog. If you have questions, it takes only five or ten minutes to read about the Mocha Club and sign up. You can sign up on my team or on someone else's. It doesn't matter to me, I get nothing out of it other than knowing that more is happening to help others in need.

If you want to join my team, CLICK HERE.

To simply check out the Mocha Club, CLICK HERE.

Please, take the time to help. Don't let apathy or laziness stop you from making a difference.

Currently...

2007-10-02T22:50:00.000-05:00

Well, life has been interesting. I continue to work around 40 hours a week and continue to wonder just how people get things done. I love my job, but I just don't have the time for everything else I want to do. It's a bit tough to work that much, combined with an hour and a half of driving each day, and still get an hour or more of practicing drums (ideally two), hopefully some reading, and have any time left.

Also, God is still trying to reel me in, getting me to slow down and focus on the things that are really priorities (drums, reading, time with Him, etc.). His tactic over the past 8 months has been injuries. The latest happening in early July, just after I returned home. I injured my foot while playing ultimate frisbee, and though it was originally diagnosed as a foot sprain, it didn't heal as it should have. I had to go back in for an MRI, and I have now found out that I attempted to tear a tendon away from bone on the interior side of my right foot as well as spraining it in multiple locations. So, I now have a pretty sweet boot to wear around. I figured you all would enjoy this new aspect of my life as much as I do, so I thought I would give you a little glimpse. It is HUGE! It goes up nearly to my knee, and has not one, not two, not even three or four, but FIVE straps to keep my leg and foot in place and not moving. If only I could convey just how much fun this thing is...

Outside of that, for those who haven't seen me in a while, say, since I left the Oceania area, I still haven't cut my hair. I guess I am just a little lazy. Who knows how long it will last. Anyway, I figured that some people would get a kick out of it, I included a picture of that as well. Enjoy!

On Trust and Grace

2007-08-20T21:45:00.000-05:00

In the midst of establishing a "normal life" (though many would most likely not consider my life "normal," nor do I aim for it to be), I've found that a feeling of self-sufficiency creeps in. I think this is "normal" for this country, and something that is encouraged. We are a confident, actually, cocky, society thriving on the strength of self. "I worked hard for it, I deserve it, I did it." You get the point.

I have to believe this American complex comes from insecurities. These insecurities are likely the result of this need to succeed placed on us from birth; the fear of failure, of not making the grade. Regardless, in jobs, in sports, in politics, we like to think that we did it on our own and certainly don't need help. Part of the maturation process is to become independent, and in a country of wealth and strength, being in need of anything is a point of shame to be avoided like the plague.

All of this, or so I've found, can make a walk with God so much harder than it has to be. There is a central concept of TRUST that is so important to faith that becomes so hard to grasp. I constantly battle with letting God lead, trusting in His timing and His plans. In times where "life is good" there sometimes seems no need. I have a tendency to forget how little I can really do on my own, and how much of what I do is really provided by Him. I find myself trying to make things happen my own way rather than trusting Him to provide. Even though He has provided so many times already, even though I know He will, I still lose focus and rely on myself. It's in these times that I can relate with Abraham, with the Israelites, and everyone else who after a short period (or long for Abraham) abandons the path God has set before them and goes it on their own.

At the same time, I also struggle with GRACE. In a society where handouts are frowned upon as if they come only in exchange for our dignity, I don't always know just what it looks like to accept grace. A free gift. How do I respond? Not just a free gift, but a free gift of life. Something that I couldn't possibly repay. At least with a friend, I could try to return the favor, try to even the scales. Not this time. I can give everything I have and not even come close. But there is no expectation for me to come close. I guess I just know myself and how I fall short in my own offerings of grace and as a result simply can't fathom the heart and mind behind the gift, but I suppose that's what makes me me and God God.

So that's where I am. Learning to trust in His timing and Grace. Trying to abandon the "safety and security" of my own works (which is a ridiculous concept to begin with; who honestly would trust their own plans and provisions over an omnipotent, omniscient, almighty God) and find joy and peace in His presence. It sounds so simple. If only.

A Glance Into the Future

2007-07-23T22:34:00.000-05:00

I'll get a quick update in before I let my thoughts wander too far from home. I am back from a week in Denton, Maryland (which, if you are wondering, though "near" the ocean is in the middle of nowhere). We entered the week with a setup far below any of the camps we've played and a grand total of around 80 junior high kids. From our perspective, it was going to be an interesting week. Sometimes I think that God laughs at me. He hears my thoughts and has a hearty chuckle saying, "If you only knew what I've got in store..." The camp turned out to be pretty amazing. These kids, though only in middle school, just seemed to get it. They engaged in a way that I've never seen junior high kids engage. They raised their arms high and unashamed, prayed and supported each other, cried together, and just went for it. I was impressed. Once again, God was having a nice little chuckle through all of it.

I was able to spend Sunday with two former housemates, Jon and Jeremy. We took Jon's boat out to a lake and played all afternoon. The time was an amazing time to play, catch up, enjoy the sun, relax, and just do whatever we wanted. My body is currently rather angry with me for all of the tubing, wakeboarding, and skiing that I did, but I will maintain that it was worth it. We were laid back, taking time to talk inbetween activities; truly making the most of the day. I love being out on a lake past dinner (when everyone else goes in) and into the evening. We had the majority of it to ourselves, a pristine calm lake for skiing and wakeboarding. The drive home was a little rough, but entirely worth it.

Now that I am in one location for an extended period of time, I will be trying to figure out what a "normal" life for me looks like. One of my current questions is "how in the world do people accomplish anything with a full time job?" There is so much to do! I have plenty of reading, ultimate, small group, practicing, surfing, and hanging out with friends to do, and I just don't know when it's all going to happen. With that said, I'll segue into where my mind really wants to go.

I just don't know how much I'll be blogging over the next couple months. Until summer fades away it just seems like a big waste of time to be sitting inside. I am also questioning my own motives in blogging. Now that I am home and not on the other side of the world, where am I headed with this? What do I want it to accomplish?

I suppose a lot of it is for myself. I haven't been journaling a ton on my own recently, so this has almost functioned as that (which is most likely why there has been more candidness of late), and I think that's a little dangerous. I probably need to find my own time to do that and simply post random thoughts or questions on here.

There is also the goal of actually keeping up with people through this medium. I know that if I look at the number of comments I receive, well, I could spiral into a deep depression, but I am the same way. I often read other blogs of close friends and neglect that little comment button at the bottom of the post. I also know that some people do read this. Who they are and what their purpose is, well, I guess you all will have to inform me, because I can count on two hands the number of close friends who read this. The rest are a mystery.

Pause.

Yup, my thoughts have gotten away from me again and I'm writing more of a tangent that anything pertaining to...well...see, I don't even know the purpose behind all that. I guess I am simply try to communicate that I am in a stage of re-evaluating my blog, what it is for me, what it is for others, and what I want it to be. There it is. A lot of writing for a short statement, but I guess I've always had the tendency to do that. I guess there's nothing concrete to be said currently, but feel free to leave your thoughts.

A Time of Transition

2007-07-14T22:06:00.000-05:00

The past weeks have been quite interesting. I suppose I am still in the "adjusting" phase. In returning to Michigan for the summer, I have returned to many things that I have always loved. The weather, the water, the feel of the sun, the sound of the boats on the lake, the thought of just relaxing and enjoying the beautiful scenery. Well, I guess it's just a little harder to enjoy having spent a significant amount of time in a place far more beautiful than here. That is not to say that I no longer appreciate the area, because I still think that people who live in West Michigan are some of the most fortunate people in the world. The lake is truly something spectacular. Clear water with waves that are surfable on good days (as today was), no salt, beautiful beaches with some of the best sand in the world, sand dunes and forest surrounding them, and great sunsets. the lake simply has a refreshing, rejuvenating, life-giving, and even spiritual aspect to it. I don't think I will ever get sick of it.

Also, many things have changed since I left. Some of my friends are gone. I am adjusting to being single. Things have been back and forth with that, but they are finally concrete. It's been a couple weeks and I'm coming to grips with it. There was a lot of frustration there. I think I needed distance and time from the whole situation to see that this really is the best. I suppose many people say that after they end relationships, and often it may just be a line, but I honestly feel that to be true. I think that God has me going in a different direction and I probably was tyring to fight it a bit. I guess it's time I give in and listen.

Today I was fortunate enough to go out surfing on this magnificent lake, the second time I've done so this summer. It only makes me so much more excited for fall when the winds and waves pick up. I need to pick up a board and wetsuit by then. I have been going out with Scott Hoffman, a friend who used to be an adult leader in my senior high youth group at Central Wesleyan and now goes to Engedi as well. Scott has a few fun toys including surf boards, kayaks, and I think wind surfers (which I have never done, but who knows). It's been good to find someone else who loves the water as much as me.

Outside of that, life has been all over the place. I have already been to one camp, which went really well, and am leaving for another tomorrow. This time we're in Maryland. I also sprain my right foot last Sunday night playing some ultimate frisbee, which has left me on crutches part of the time. This of course made surfing interesting, and the first wave I tried to catch I put too much weight on my front foot and went down instantly. I made sure not to do that again. Now I am off to play drums at a youth camp, which is also going to be interesting. I have tried practicing the past two days (before that it simply wouldn't have been possible) and my foot actually goes numb (the half including the toes) while playing. Hmmmm... I guess the circulation with the swelling of the sprain isn't too good. It will make for an interesting week.

I also have accepted a position as a graphic designer at b2 Creative. God provided the connections before I left to make sure I had work when I came back, and the timing worked out perfectly so I am in a place that I strongly feel that He wants me. b2 (actually "b squared") is a very small company , though growing, and had you asked me if I would work in a place like this before I would have said no. But...they hooked me. I went for the interview, and I liked the people right away. The owner is a great guy who goes to Spring Lake Wesleyan Church (knew of me through my connections there). For those of you who know me, I have never looked positively on working for the sake of working. I pretty much was hooked by his approach to work and business. Work happens during work hours. Anything after 5 or on a weekend is always optional. Vacation time isn't set out; there's no limit. If something comes up, doctor appointments, a trip you really want to take, just get the work done ahead of time and go do it. Hours are flexible, and I'll be working from home some days to save on gas driving to Grand Haven. I think I also can learn a bit from him about business and relationships in general. The attention and treatment he gives his clients is fantastic. So yeah, there are things that for me weren't ideal going in, but I simply couldn't turn it down.

So, there's my life as of late. When I come back I'll be working a fairly normal schedule, learning a lot and having fun. And hey, if the waves are good maybe I'll take a morning or afternoon off to surf. All in all, I've got some things to be excited about. If anyone is waiting on pictures, well, it could be a little while (for now you can occupy yourself by looking at the ones already there that you still haven't looked at and let me know which ones you like - leave comments). We'll see. Maybe I'll get time to edit at camp, but the thought of editing a couple hundred pictures doesn't excite me. I'd rather be surfing. That's it for now, for those of you in New Zealand, I miss you guys. You have been a significant part of my life and I can't wait to see you all again. Thanks for everything.

An Update (of sorts)

2007-06-25T06:15:00.000-05:00

Hmmm...so I apologize for not even posting to say that I arrived home...but I did arrive home safely. Things are quite different here. Many things are not quite as I remembered, or in light of my time spent in NZ they simply seem a little off. Either way, I am back "home" and arrived here almost a week ago. Much of my heart is still back in NZ.

More will follow, maybe some thoughts (once I have gathered them) on the culture diffferences, or maybe I'll just get lazy again and not post. Sometimes you just never know. What I do know is that right now I am headed off to play drums at a youth camp in Fairmount, IN. I have been looking forward to playing with the guys again, so I'm sure I'll enjoy it. Also, I miss the worship atmosphere that occurs during these times. It is such a blessing to take part and even lead these times. I'll be back on Saturday, so until then, I won't be posting (but you can feel free to keep checking in, maybe read some of the long older posts that you skipped or even look at all the photos you were supposed to look at and comment on but didn't). I would appreciate the prayer for travels and the youth this coming week, thanks so much.

To Oz I Go

2007-06-04T12:12:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm officially headed to Australia to surf, hang out, go to Hillsong church, and see the Great Barrier Reef (to name a couple of the things we'll be doing) with Brent, Trace, and Adam. I won't be posting (or so I guess), and I think I'll enjoy that. For the next two weeks, I just get to do whatever, whenever. Catch you on the other side.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

2007-06-01T18:22:00.000-05:00

I don't know quite where to start. I suppose I'm at a rather strange crossroads right now. Normally I just don't go into these details on a blog, I'm more the kind of person who would only share this with people close to me. For the most part, things were going really well with Julie and I was excited to be able to see her in Florida in only a few days. Since making the decision to go back to see her I had heard only positive things about it from her as well. I cancelled my return flight from Australia, moved my return flight date to the 5th of June, booked a ticket from LA to Ft. Lauderdale and Ft. Lauderdale to Chicago. Everything was in place.

Two days ago she told me that she felt God telling her that we weren't supposed to be together. This is all less than a week before I was supposed to fly to Florida. I canceled on a trip to Australia in order to go home early for her, and then I get this? I guess I just don't know what's right in the situation. In all of my own time in prayer, finding what God wanted, I found that if I wanted to pursue Julie and go back home early it was my choice and He was behind it. I wasn't stepping outside of His will to do that. So I made the decision. I was making this decision believing that she felt the same way. Now the whole thing has collapsed in on my head. I'm left without the option of going to Florida (at her request), and in order to now go to Australia I would have to spend $1000 or more dollars (and might I add that right now I have literally no money) just to buy/change tickets to get there and home. I definitely don't feel God telling me that us being together is wrong, so I don't know what decision I'm supposed to make here. Pretty much, I just feel left without anything I wanted to do left in the picture and out a lot of money for no reason. So maybe I'll see he reason for all of this later. Maybe I'm supposed to go home flat broke. Maybe I'm supposed to be there early. Or if I'm supposed to go to Australia, why in the world did I have to cancel and change tickets so that I would be going into debt in order to go? These are the questions I have. Feel free to lend advice or opinions as I have a decision to make in roughly 48 hours or less.

Current Life and Future "Plans"

2007-05-24T19:25:00.000-05:00

Alright, now that the picture frenzy is over (I say over for myself and my own peace of mind, if I actually thought about how much editing and work on photos I have when I get back and want to print any of them then I would probably revert into a state of depression and not move for weeks) I am able to actually give a little update on what is happening around here.

Right now I am indeed jobless. I currently am working on a design project that will cover my rent for the remaining two weeks I'm here, but outside of that I'm relying on the sale of our car and hopefully some insurance money to get me through financially. It is turning out for the best in many ways that I'm not working right now. First, I get to spend a lot of time with the Rod, Jan, and the boys. While I watch Brent work crazy hours, run himself dry trying to get enough money for Australia, and virtually live at the Pounamo, I am very thankful for my time with the family. Though I still am staying busy getting ready to leave, I would have hated were my last weeks here spent in a desperate "work as much as physically possible to make money and never see anybody" state. I would have left feeling like I never said goodbye to anybody. I feel a great peace about the way things are happening right now.

The main reason I am able to live this life and Brent is not is that we are no longer headed to the same place. Unfortunately I have had to abandon the trip to Australia, but for a much better cause. I am headed back to the US on June 5, and go straight from LA to Florida where I'll be able to spend time with Julie and her family. She is going home for a close friend's wedding and just a general "see the family" time, and I'm going to be able to be there for that. So I will be in Florida until the 16th, then home for a mere day and down to Indiana for a youth camp on the 18th. A lot of things happened in order for this all to occur, but as I said earlier, I feel a great peace about it. Had I gone to Australia I simply would not have enjoyed it, my mind would have been elsewhere, and that's just not a good way to spend a trip. So thoughts of current vs. future have led me to where I am now, and though I would love to have gone to Oz, it will have to wait. And to all of the nay-sayers...you know who you are...I will indeed get to Australia before long. It is still a priority, it simply was not my top priority in this scenario.

On a completely random tangent, check out this link to Freeset. It is an organization that enables women who worked on the street in India to get off the street and make a real living with their trade. The bags are pretty cool, I don't personally have a need for one right now, but maybe in the future. Either way, it has come up a couple times in my life recently (first at Shore Grace and then through Kyle Scott's blog) so I thought I should mention it. CHECK IT OUT, maybe you'll see something you like and the money couldn't go to a better place. And while you're at it, check out Kyle's blog, he's volunteering in India right now. He is great at communicating stories and if you want to hear some stuff that will rock your world, well, just read it. There is actually life outside the US, and it's drastically different. That's all for me, I've got some stuff to do and only a week and a half to do it!

Picture update (part 5)!

2007-05-19T03:28:00.000-05:00

Well, that's it for now. The pictures are all uploaded, just in time since my parents get here ridiculously early in the morning tomorrow. They'll be in town for about a day and a half before heading off to the South Island to do the fastest sight seeing ever. Anyway, here's the deal. With all the South Island pictures up, this is where you come into play. I know that there are quite a few, but if you have any spare time and feel like browsing through, I'd love to get your feedback. CHECK THEM OUT, and when you're done, let me know which you like, which you think would look good in a frame, and which you absolutely have to have. Now, when you do this, keep in mind that some are meant just to show the trip, not all are meant to ever grace a frame. So, what this means, though it is all very unfamiliar to the majority of you, is that you will have to respond in some way shape or form. You can post comments on Flickr, send me an email, or what I think would be best, post the comments on here! Start talking about it, decide what you like, and let me know. Thanks for the time, I'm looking forward to hearing what you think!

Picture update (part 4)!

2007-05-18T07:39:00.000-05:00

Alright, the running total is four down, one (hopefully) to go. I'm trying to get these out as fast as possible right now, so keep in mind that these just really aren't edited much. Also, I will need to eventually choose which prints I like and want to print out, but for now, I think that you guys should let me know which ones stand out for you. So go ahead, CHECK THEM OUT, and let me know what you think. For convenient access to chronological viewing of the trip photos, click on the "South Island" set on the right side of the photo home page. I have only the pictures of the Tongariro Crossing left, so start casting your votes!

Picture update (part 3)!

2007-05-17T07:24:00.000-05:00

Watch out world, this may be some sort of record. That's right, this is the third consecutive day of posting for me. I know, I might not want to get too out of hand, I just don't think that people are ready for this.

Okay, so now that you've finished jumping up and down with excitement, here's what the hype is all about. There are more pictures up on my Flickr. You are most likely now struggling to contain yourself, and I'm sure that half of you won't even read the rest of this post because you're so excited about the pictures. Well I can't blame you. That or you know me well enough to know that anything I was going to say after saying the pictures were up was simply me wasting time and space. Well, either way, there are more pictures, so go ahead and CHECK THEM OUT.

Picture update (part 2)!

2007-05-16T06:29:00.000-05:00

More photos have gone upon Flickr, and with my computer liking to shut down randomly I can only do so many at once. So, over the next two days hopefully I'll get the rest of them done. As for now, CLICK HERE and enjoy!

Picture update (part 1)!

2007-05-15T08:43:00.000-05:00

Well, there is much to say. Right now I am jobless, I have a bit of back pain (as a result of a ridiculously good random tackle which I would have laughed at had it not been me and had it not hurt that much), and time here is closing out quickly. On the bright side, I am finally posting pictures from the South Island! If you want write ups...well, Brent already did that, so I won't double up. Read his day by day itinerary and you'll get a good idea of the trip. For me, it just takes a while to edit pictures, and I took a lot of them, so here is the first installment of where we went. This is about half of them, from Able Tasman through Milford Sound. Pretty much the west coast. To check it out, CLICK HERE. More to come, hopefully soon.

We're back (and leaving)

2007-04-20T18:49:00.000-05:00

This update will be brief. I just got back from a great week as a surf instructor. We had a blast with the kids, there were no mishaps, and we had some amazing talks with the kids that let us share our faith and beliefs. We now are preparing to get away for two weeks and tour the south island, something we have been planning on doing for quite some time. Hopefully this time will be a time of rejuvenation; a time for me to clear my head. The past weeks have been interesting to say the least, with more developments happening yesterday. I'll simply say that I definitely can use some time to think and get away right now. If you really want details outside of that...well...you'll just have to ask me yourself.

Some good news

2007-04-15T07:31:00.000-05:00

After a trip back to the Coromandel, God used a biker in a yellow jacket to help us find my lens that flew out of the window. Miraculously (or maybe Nikon would beg to differ) the lens is still in tact! The lens hood shattered and may have broken the fall, and though it's a little rough to operate, right now all of the glass is unbroken and the lens is completely usable! Also, we have found that our travel insurance might cover some of our recent mishaps such as lens, surfboard, camera, and car (part of it)! So, that is a big if right now, but for us, things at least are a bit more upbeat.

We leave early tomorrow morning for a five day surf camp that we are again working as instructors. We get to hang out with kids, be in water, and teach kids to surf, and we get paid! How ridiculous is that? Anyway, we're off to Raglan, unfortunately not surfing the points, which are incredible, but we should have a blast anyway. Thanks so much for the prayer!

Bad Luck

2007-04-13T07:37:00.000-05:00

"Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?"
-Job 2:10 (the middle of the verse, NLT)

Maybe there is a purpose that will be revealed to us soon, maybe there is something that we are doing wrong. Or, maybe this is just what we are getting from the hand of God right now. Regardless, Brent and I have been experiencing a lot of trouble recently. Brent has had the brunt of it, but I have been fortunate enough to join in with a great first effort. The trip started off with little things going wrong. Things that were unfortunate, and certainly not ideal, but fixable. It seems like everything I buy turns to rubble. First the laptop I purchased right before the trip has issues. It shuts off randomly and the cd drive doesn't work. Then the camera I bought in May once again breaks as the autofocus decides to stop working. Brent has had similar issues involving his computer, camera, and even getting an iPod stolen. All of this prior to our camp this past week as surf instructors.

I should at least try to redeem this story by saying that we had a great week with the kids and surfing, minus the mishaps. However, on the way down, well, I guess it all started poorly. We got stuck at a light and didn't know where we were going right off the bat. We ended up having to skip a stop and catch up at the next, which was frustrating. Then, on the way down to the camp, one of the surfboards belonging to Brett, the owner of the company/the big boss, flies off of the top of the van. It escapes with a fair amount of damage, but it is foam, and seems to be repairable, but is still a big deal. The board could be a lot of money is Brett decides that it needs to be replaced, or it could be a little if the repair is easy. The rest of the week goes well, we have a blast in the water with the kids, and we wake up Friday morning thinking we'll get back to Auckland with only that one mishap. We first should have thought about what day it was. It was Friday. Friday the 13th. Sure, I've never believed in bad luck or those superstitions, and I still don't, but regardless...I hate Friday the 13th.

Today, Friday, we were driving up to Hot Water Beach with the kids, and we saw a rainbow. We had seen at least one rainbow every day of the trip, and these are not just ordinary rainbows. These rainbows are close, full, and really bright. Today the rainbow happened to form just over the top of to mountain peaks, and I though it would be a pretty fun picture. I reached into my camera bag and pulled out my camera. As I removed the lens cap I noticed that the lens was a bit dirty. I glanced out the window to see how urgent the photo was, and decided I had time to clean the lens off. After giving the glass a good polish, I held the camera up to inspect it and all appeared fine. I then turned, camera in hand, toward the window. The rainbow was still there, and as bright as ever. I leaned forward just slightly, enough to just stick the camera out the window and looked through the viewfinder. I no more than lowered my eye to the viewfinder when suddenly what I was looking at switched from bright, to dimmed, to nothing at all. I promptly lifted my eyes and lowered my camera body just in time to see my lens crashing down on the pavement as we drove away around a corner.

I was in shock. Did that really just happen? I honestly have no idea how it happened. Had the lens been loose I should have noticed it as I cleaned it and held it up to inspect it. I should have heard it. It should have moved. But for whatever reason, it didn't. It simply dropped off of my camera from about six feet in the air moving at roughly 60 km/hr. That is not fun to watch.

As we sat in disbelief, trying to decide if it was worth turning around, or if we had time as we were following the other van to the destination, the situation compounded. Maybe 2 km after my lens met what I assume was it's fate, we hear another noise. Brent's surfboard is in the road behind us. The fin used to secure the board in the back snapped off and allowed his board to find pavement, also damaging the nose of the board.

So, all in all, in a total of four days we may have racked up over $1000 worth of damage. What does this mean? I have no idea. Am I just not supposed to buy stuff? Maybe. We rode home paranoid of touching anything. We joked about how the beds we sleep in would fold up in the middle of the night, and then rain would leak in through the roof and drip right onto our heads. That's the kind of streak we're in. Ironically, I've been reading Job. To praise God in the midst of loss is one of the hardest things to do. Job did it after losing all of his possessions and all of his children. We are just trying to make it through a couple mishaps, but it's still hard.

"The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!"
-Job 1:21 b (NLT)

I hate goodbyes

2007-04-08T06:10:00.000-05:00

A good week always seems to take forever to arrive and only an instant to pass. I was blessed with the chance to spend a great week with my girlfriend, and unfortunately already had to watch her walk around the corner to the customs booths in the airport. It seems that so many people are so much happier in airports than I have been on my past couple visits. I guess I just don't like being the only person having to say goodbye when everyone else seems to be saying hello.

Right now, I have pictures to work on, post, and a lot of other things to update. My life for the next who knows how many weeks will be busy. Tuesday Brent and I leave for a four day surf trip where we will be instructors. The next Monday we have another trip for five days. After that the South Island happens, sometime, and also Australia. Lots of details need to be worked out, we have to figure out what's really financially feasible, if I'll have a job when I get back, and a lot of other things. So, maybe I'll get another post in, but the chances are that I won't (just being honest). That's it for now. Pray for safety, ministry opportunities, and financial situations. Thanks for the time and prayer, and if you're reading this I'd love to hear from you (just because I don't post often doesn't mean that I don't check to see if anyone has commented).

A Long Awaited Arrival

2007-03-30T07:03:00.000-05:00

Well, the biggest news right now is that I get to pick up my girlfriend from the airport tomorrow morning at 6 am (roughly six hours from now). She was able to get the time off of work and is making a huge sacrifice to get to the other side of the world. So, you probably won't hear from me for a little bit. Technology is amazing and all, and Skype is a fantastic invention that allows up to talk and even see each other from across the globe for free, but actually being in the company of the other person is something that has definitely been missed and will be eagerly accepted. We plan on traveling around Auckland for a couple days, going to Shore Grace Sunday night, heading down to the Coromandel peninsula, going caving in Waitomo, and hanging out on some beaches. The time is long awaited, not only for her presence, but the week will also be time off to relax and enjoy myself after a couple ridiculously busy and semi-stressful weeks. So, pray for her travel as she is in the air now, and safety for us as we travel around as well as an awesome and needed time together. That's all for now...I'll probably have some things to post in a week.

A Peace that surpasses all

2007-03-29T06:05:00.000-05:00

There is so much going on. Car repairs, financial burdens and needs, Julie is coming in two days, I'm tired, there is design work that needs to get done, decisions that need to be made, and shifts that need to be worked. But in the midst of that there is peace. The almighty, omniscient, and omnipresent God I serve is in control of all of that. I sit here as Brent is playing guitar; just worshipping. So often I hear him doing this, and my tendency is to get caught up in any incorrect chords he is playing, wrong rhythms, or wrong words sung on the wrong notes. Tonight something is different. Tonight I heard his heart pouring out, as I do every time, in worship of his God. The difference is that this time I have heard God’s voice speaking back in love, saying, “You are my son, with whom I am well pleased.” Once again I am caught up in perfection, thinking that my worship is only good enough or accepted when it’s done well...but the issue is with the heart. Is the heart blameless in its motives? Is the heart genuine? Is the heart humble? If so, then God is surely pleased with our worship. He doesn’t care about wrong notes, he cares about our hearts. When our heart’s desire is to worship God, there’s no screwing up. Yes, in a corporate worship setting as lead worshippers we have to think about those things, but in our own worship...God simply loves us, adores us, and wants to hear us crying out to Him, He doesn’t care what form that comes in. That’s it for tonight.

Tough Situations

2007-03-28T02:20:00.000-05:00

Well, as some of you may have read on Brent's blog, we were in a minor car accident last night on the way back from rugby practice. I am always amazed at how much damage can be caused by a bump. Anyway, here's the deal.

I won't go into extreme detail on how the accident happened (it was at a roundabout, so most of you wouldn't know how it worked anyway), but the basic gist is this. Brent, who was driving, pulled out and we were hit lightly on the driver's side door. He tried to stop, there was most likely enough time for the other driver to stop, but regardless of the circumstances, the cars collided. There was minimal damage done to the car that hit us, and our car has a decent dent in the driver's door that doesn't allow the window to go all the way up, another dent in the driver's side rear door, and some scrapes. The problem is that the other car is a Hillman Super Minx, an old collectible car, and the car is supposed to be in a show (or so we're told) next weekend.

The other driver was VERY upset after the accident, dropping profanities like there were confetti. He may have even been drunk, but we don't know. No police were called, we tried to exchange information, once again, he was VERY upset. He gave us a faulty phone number and last name at that point in time, and actually stole my driver's license (drove off quickly after hesitating to give it back to me). So we have made many calls, trying to locate my driver's license, calling our own panel beater connections to get estimates, and seeing what our options are. To be completely honest, with the time frame he is putting on it and since he is going to go ahead with repairs regardless of whether we give him money, it leaves a bit of a gray area. If he refuses to comply with us getting estimates and trying to go about things to make sure we aren't getting the shaft then he gets rid of any evidence he had, police were never involved and were we not Christians we could just walk away and say, "sorry." So be in prayer about the whole situation, any ministry opportunities with this guy Steve, and funds. The estimate originally stood at $900, but now has gone up to $2000, and with other things we had planned (trips to the South Island and Australia) and any repairs to our car, well, money is a little tight. I take that back. Money was a little tight before the accident, now it is just plain short. So, that's the latest development, and even in countries where insurance is not required, always get it anyway. Ironically, well, it's actually not ironic anymore since this sort of thing has happened multiple times on this trip, the accident happened about ten seconds after we were talking about being uninsured. That's all, thanks for the prayer.