Parking Lot Gospel

Tonight I was called stupid by a woman I don’t even know for giving money to a man who may use it for drugs. It was a whole $.75, but it was all of the cash I had.

Let me back up. As I exited Walmart and approached my car, a man walked up to me and asked if I could spare $5 so he could get a ride home. In the midst of his hurried speech, one of the first things I noticed was the shaking/twitching of his right hand. Stop for just a moment and imagine being homeless or destitute. Times are hard enough for you that you have no option left but to approach complete strangers and humble yourself before them by asking for their financial help. By asking for grace. By admitting that you can’t make it on your own.

Pause.

Think about that some more.

It’s difficult, isn’t it? None of us like to admit that we can’t make it on our own or that we don’t have everything under control. We hate admitting that to our closest friend or even God (who, by the way, already knows) let alone complete strangers. Now imagine that after you’ve stooped so low and gotten rid of all of your pride, when you finally gather the courage to approach someone, they write you off before you can even explain yourself.

“No thanks.”
“I don’t have any cash on me.”
“I can’t spare anything.”

The first answer shows that the person hasn’t even listened to a word you’ve said. You weren’t offering them a service or product. You were trying to ask for help. But before you could even state your purpose, they said, “No, thanks.” That’s why so many people who’ve been on the street for ay length of time speak quickly, taking advantage of any silent moment to try and plead their case.

The others? They are nothing more than lies. Not always (I usually don’t carry cash on me), but the vast majority of the time. And even if the person doesn’t have any physical money on them, what they are really saying is, “I don’t care enough to take any time to help you.” Or maybe, “I deserve my ‘hard-earned’ money more than you.”

Back to the story.

The man explained to me that he needed to get money for a ride home. I asked him where his vehicle was, and he said it was just up the hill, but it isn’t his car. Someone has offered to give him a ride back to his house if only he could get $7 cash to cover the gas. This left me at an interesting place. I had no cash on me and when I offered to buy the gas for him with my credit card he said since it wasn’t his car it wouldn’t work. I had to sadly inform him that since I didn’t have any cash and he wouldn’t accept anything else it didn’t like I would be able to help him. Upon hearing this he quickly walked away.

After getting in my car, I began to search to see if perhaps I had any cash randomly hiding someone. Having just cleaned my car out, this wasn’t likely, but I saw $.75 laying in the change holder. Apparently he saw me looking and, walked back over to my car, asking me even just for a little change. Anything I had would do.

It was at this point that things got a little strange. A woman approached and told him he needed to leave the parking lot. I looked back to see a Walmart employee standing there and repeating the words, “You need to leave.” As I struggled to get all of the change out to give to him, another woman in a van slowed in an adjacent aisle. He continued to assure the employee that he was on his way while I fumbled with the measly three quarters, and when I handed him the money he quickly departed.

It was then that I noticed the woman in the van. She had stopped her vehicle to witness the scene taking place. Her scowl and glaring eyes gave away her disposition, and as she stared straight at me, she yelled through her open window that the man I was just talking to is at the parking lot every night asking for money for drugs. She then asked if I had given him money.

I replied, “I did.”

Still yelling, she responded, “You didn’t or you did?”

“I did.”

Upon hearing the confirmation, she began rolling up her window and loudly muttering, “Stupid! So stupid! I can’t believe...” And then she was gone.

It’s moments like these where I have such a hard time loving people. Not just people, but entitled people. People who think they are better than others. I found myself dumbfounded that I was just berated for giving away money. I didn’t know how he would spend it, and I didn’t consider it my responsibility to find out before giving.

There are two things that kill me in these scenarios. First, that many people think they are better than others. That because someone is homeless they shouldn’t be allowed to enjoy the same things in life as others. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating drug use, but people do all sorts of things to feel good. Manicures, spas, movies, vacations, coffee, and alcohol. All of these things cost us money, but we think that to allow a homeless person the chance to enjoy a beer is unacceptable.

“Well, they won’t just enjoy one beer. They’ll probably just go get drunk.”

Sure. There’s a good chance they will. But so will you. As I sit on my back deck right now, it’s Friday night. Downtown Nashville and every other city is likely alive and well thanks to alcohol sales. The drunk crowds are stumbling all over from bar to bar, “having a good time.” Yet they won’t give money to a homeless person so he or she can do the same. What does that say about us? It says we honestly think that we are more deserving of it. Or that we have earned the right to do so by making money. Or that we simply don’t care. Take your pick, none of the options are pretty.

The second point of interest is that the man was kicked out of the parking lot. This wasn’t a fancy establishment. This was Walmart. But it doesn’t matter, the same principles apply. We have developed a culture where we have decided that those with wealth should be able to spend their money freely and without any sense of guilt or shame. We don’t want to be bothered by someone asking for assistance when they are trying to have a good time. We don’t want to be reminded of the vast brokenness that exists outside of our perfect bubbles. If we had to stare at the face of poverty, we might not feel so good about ourselves. If we had to look at the dirty face of the man in front of us, we might not be able to continue to live our comfortable lifestyles.

So we lie.

Because it’s easier. Telling the truth requires for us to know the truth, and to know the truth means that we have to be honest with ourselves. But most of us choose to ignore what is truly going on under our skin.

Truth is the one thing I wish so desperately these people heard more of. Given the run-around by most people they encounter, a homeless person is left to believe that nobody cares about them. That they have been abandoned, left for dead, and are shunned from society. I wished so badly that I would have taken more time with the man tonight. I wished I would have found out his name. I wished I would have taken him to the McDonald’s across the street to hear his story. To show that someone cares about him. And to speak Truth.

To let him know that though everyone around him may reject and ignore him, the God of the universe rejoices over him. That no matter what he’s done, God is anxiously waiting and yearning for the day that this man would come back to him. That God loves him just as much as every person who ignores him on the street. That they are no better than him in God’s sight. God loves him every bit as much as me and you, and this man is every bit as deserving of the riches that life has to offer.

God loves the homeless, the drug addicts, and the broken people around us every bit as much as us, and when we are honest with ourselves, we’ll see that we are every bit as broken as them and more. He has blessed us so that we may bless others, so what are you going to do about it?